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PROMISED LAND

Rusted gates, paint peeling doors,
weeds in an asphalt parking lot.
Has it been just eight short years?
This story has a tragic plot.

Any man who's unafraid of work
should not have to look long for a job,
yet after twenty two years toil
he's just a number lost among the mob.

His way of life deemed obsolete,
too many jobs now over seas,
or lost when bankers all messed up.
Proud men tossed aside like autumn leaves.

Textiles, steel, clothes or high tech;
none did it better than these men
who gave the best years of their lives
although they didn't know it then.

So factories that used to hum
sit unused, silent and still,
producing nothing but cobwebs
It's likely that they never will.

And now this flotsam left behind,
betrayed by time, betrayed by banks;
too old to start over again
shuffle about in downcast ranks.

Yet every once in a great while
maybe in a little group of men,
they recall the promise, then they smile
recalling how it was back then.

They recall the world they made.
They recall that seeming endless ride.
They recall good times they'd never trade.
They recall, mostly, their vanished pride.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

Instead of always will how about never will? Just a suggestion about the factories that used to him. Definelt a great topic though. The remembrance is a good light in the darkness that shows a day to night contrast. Thank you

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

Instead of always will how about never will? Just a suggestion about the factories that used to him. Definetly a great topic though. The remembrance is a good light in the darkness that shows a day to night contrast. Thank you

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

Thank you for the time to read. I'll give your idea serious consideration on edit. My intent was to convey that these old factories will likely never produce anything but cobwebs again.........stan

author comment

Even the roundabouts and swings come to a stop one day.
We have lived through a rise of great nations where most of our people worked and earned a great living.
Now as you have pointed out look at what has happened.
Shit we forgot to look after our own people and so a great nation dies and is trodden into the old dust.
We can blame our own people for this they diversified sent our work overseas to damn stupid to see if they did that then those at home would die and the nation would crumble.
Buy your cheaper coal from Africa or even Aussie send all your mundane jobs to Japan and China, raise Cain in the middle East and other places , keep our recourses locked up in our own lands while we find a cheaper product from some place else, then finding our miners and ship builders are no more.
The stupidity of great nations, is buried in the rising seas of long ago and the ones that will inundate our shores soon.
I bet you that if the sea level rises another 50 feet which is on the books our Grand children will suffer yet I know of billions of people that are producing cheap stuff at our expense will just smile and become the next great power.
Great write there Stan, It is Sunday after all LOL, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Things tend to go in cycles. Hopefully we can cycle out the idiot politicians who so enjoy negotiating trade agreements which always favor other countries. Time to concentrate on OUR economies for a change.......stan

author comment

As you can see i often return to all my stuff with an eye toward improvement. On first reading I like some of your ideas and may well use either them or something inspired by your suggestions when I edit this.....again . I appreciate the time you took to study this and give heart felt suggestions.........stan

author comment
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