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ECLIPSE

ECLIPSE

ECLIPSE

From corners dark and deep
soulless creatures creep
to steal my joy and kill my sleep.
no dream or morning sun
can bring me back into the light
where shadows dwell
and turn day to night.

Editing stage: 

Comments

what you mean by the last lines: can bring me back into the light
where shadows dwell
and turn day to night?

Not sure how that works, I mean, if it brings you back into the light, where the shadows dwell, that is fine 'cause without light, no shadows. But if they turn the day into night, they cease to exist. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

a metaphor for depression

NO dream or morning sun
can bring me back into the light
where shadows dwell
and turn day to night.

author comment

I follow what you are thinking, but still feel that you could say it better.
~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

There is more light than darkness, preceded by a ring with a diamond on it to say the universe loves you, and that the light will banish your darkness, go well young Joe and know we think of you and with you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you. Ian. wish I had your optimism.Too many things which suddenly threaten my well being, lot of pain and confined to my apartment alone. Each chore is monumental/ No one to count on.. .

Joe

author comment

Although you are totally responsible for your own life and the choices you make, always remember that there are many people that walk with you no matter how you feel about life and being as you are.
You are part of the whole no matter what.
Even that single tree in the desert that Loved talks of is a part of the whole and should it go away the whole species would be worse off,
Just think on, that tree has come from millions of years of survival to grow where it is, as with you, there from you stretching back for ever is Joe, he survived for that ever and now well what can I say.
Life is so hard Joe, but it is a responsibility that we take on it is called being, you know that even in your isolation, you have many friends that care, and I bet that if you wrote down the names of all the people that would miss you should you leave, it would not be a short list, if you told the truth to yourself.
So can we please have some themes and writing from you that is up there where the best are I know you are capable of that,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Most of my family is gone and many friends have moved on or passed on..There are circumstances that isolate you---I have no car and depend on others to do my grocery shopping and take me to doctors, etc. These are strangers . My family moved out of Florida and left me behind. We all were very close, but out of sight,out of mind. The loss of independence is devastating.

author comment

Excellent metaphor...I wish I had thought of it first. I hope you'll expand this story. More detail even if the details stay vague in their form. You have your idea, the foundation is built. Now if you see fit let's put walls and a roof to protect you from the creatures that creep

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

your choice
of growing with loneliness
as a tree abounds in a deserted land
with winds blowing up only sand
and then there in the midst of an oasis
widens a mirage
as it blanks the mind

you chose loneliness
to that hopeful mirage ,
which draws mankind towards it

perhaps twas no mirage
but an apparition of mind
in the deepest darkest and solitary refines
which make you
melancholy and depressiveness design

the choice was yours
to save your penny,
as the ones were staring at your money

you left them far behind
also with no company

the choice was yours!

loved

One chooses to be alone, Loneliness is imposed on you under a variety of circumstances,

author comment

how true you agree one out of three

Life is universally controlled
by three main factors...

one is the dictates
of genes ...........heredity

second is environment
where ever one may be

third is circumstances
the one we have
no choice
but we lose
you are a great poet we all do see!

loved

You understand, Wisely said

author comment

do read my poetry
From a Grand Father
and critique it

I will love it coming from you
Sir Geremia
I honour you

loved

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