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The Abandoned

Forever walking,
With bloody feet.
Petaracy spreading in the streets.
Faith in humanity dwindling

A life of gratuity
Angels with severed wings.
Deliver us from perdition
We, the Abandoned

Styrofoam souls,
And factitious faces,
They thwart us
Blocked from God's eye

Hollywood cannibals
With festering personalities,
Taken with falsities
Going through doldrum lives

Lament out loud,
And scream your sorrows.
Rip off your wings.
We are the Angels now

Riot through the city
Throw your hate on the pyre
Let us take back the world
Save it from the fire

No more celluloid faces,
No more forgotten places.
Reborn from ashes,
A kingdom arises.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

An excellent portrayal of life, I loved it, I can't comment on the form but to me it was beaut in its raw scenery of true life,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- your poetry, you need to write more as your works are of quite a high level and loved by many of us..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

To have semi-fans on here. Like what I write affects people. Makes me happy to know I that you enjoy it.

The Unknown Poet

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author comment

some-how the poem ends in an anti-climax i don't know if it was deliberate u used bathos

It ended the way it ended, I guess. I am not sure what bathos is?

The Unknown Poet

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author comment

Some of us use words not in our normal day to day use, but they are something to be learned or looked at I find it fun to look up some of these words especially if they are direct comments..
Bathos meaning "depth" is an abrupt transition in style from the exalted to the commonplace, producing a ludicrous effect.
While often unintended, bathos may be used deliberately to produce a humorous effect.
if bathos is overt, it may be described as Burlesque or mock-heroic. It should not be confused with pathos, a mode of persuasion within the discipline of rhetoric, intended to arouse emotions of sympathy and pity.
Exhibiting Bathos,
Such as:-
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bathos>

There you can see how funny some of these words turn out, but you should have had a reply to this Question.
Though English is taught all over the world, sometimes it is with a local way of learning and some of the words are not usually used, just need a damn good Wikipedia or a good set of dictionaries.
Just ask if there are problems if I see the question I shall research.
Take care have a good life out there, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

A pleasure to read this one. The poem emotes with two strong stanzas, which I believe capture the essence of this poem, if I read it correctly...

Lament out loud,
And scream your sorrows.
Rip off your wings.
We are the Angels now

Riot through the city
Throw your hate on the pyre
Let us take back the world
Save it from the fire

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you.

The Unknown Poet

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author comment

WOW. I think you have just pulled me into your fan club with this one. I LOVE IT!.Wonderful! You offered me such imagery with your choice of words. This is great!

Alid

Why thanks. I will have to explore your work.

The Unknown Poet

Make a donation we can't stay without poets like you.

author comment
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