Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Friday Night is a Fallacy
It may not be high class,
but there's value to keeping a spot in the gutter,
to throw your guts up into on a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday night;
Thursday I brush the rot out from between back teeth,
spitting out broken bone fragments,
swirling down the drain with the excess of saliva and blood;
It may pay off to maintain this stance of confidence,
sweeping the room for the sordid affection I crave,
just for the night, just for this moment, I'll be gone before the dawn breaks;
The weekend, the whole damn cycle starts again,
forgetting myself in the joke of trying to live,
trying so desperately to feel something besides my own fallacy;
It may be just the leap to take,
over the edge, breaching spatial relations,
of sky to earth, of reality to imagination, of life to death, of body to soul;
Headfirst for halos today,
I swear I'm not crazy, this time,
I swear it on your Bible, on your Torah, on your Qur’an, on your Corporations;
Maybe...just hear me out -
just – just, fucking listen to the words that come out of my mouth
and not your superimposed thoughts over my monologue.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I can't quite get the formatting to publish correctly, every second and third line is suppose to be indented, er if anyone knows how to fix this that would be cool, so that I can make it look better.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Esker
Mon, 2014-06-09 23:24
even without formatting
this is awesome....
i have a hard time
listening..
old defense
dont get close
dont know details..
because everyone goes away in the end..
like slapping a flyer with some glue
news of the hour...
love the grittiness of this
the real emotive
only cause im hanging out with
a cousin
who lives on the edge..
been there but they live it
....
whose to say who is more alive
who is more authentic in the quest
for wanting more?
and getting it....
i got this..loved it..
thank you!
Breakinglogic
Tue, 2014-06-10 04:53
I thought I knew where this
I thought I knew where this was going, and then we took a turn. Perhaps I was too quick to superimpose my thoughts!
Very interesting; quite enjoyed.
logic
☆ raffy
emeka ozurumba
Wed, 2014-06-11 10:09
thrill puzzled...............
profanity lessened the poetic ego developing in the poem , then if you notice the poem becomes anti-climatic just something of a mind buzzing skirmish prone to higher ramification ........ the poem seems confused not the poet, but the poet in the poem. that ends to a rash profane that should have been controlled, giving you more prowess on the poet in the poem, which you know differs from the omniscience of the poem to the poet
Ian.T
Wed, 2014-06-11 14:32
Jade
A truth of some lives, creeps as the dawn into our lives.
Not withstanding that this could be us but for fortune.
Loved the write, not sure how to fix the problems you see there, maybe ask one of our top teachers, someone like the Professor Jonathan.
I like it as is, Take care out there, yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..