Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
With Words
with words we cursed
feigned laughter
then ducked
with words we whispered
touched lips
then fucked
with words we transgressed
improvised apologies
then smirked
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Seren
Thu, 2014-06-05 11:07
WOW !! this is a cracker. I
WOW !! this is a cracker. I loved it and cant find fault....
Bravo excellent poem....
sorry but I cant critique something that is tight
and the theme is brilliant ...well thought out and executed
love Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Thu, 2014-06-05 11:33
I know
You know I would laugh at this one it is so neat,
but I think that some of the parts could have taken longer, lol
Your Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
violet
Thu, 2014-06-05 12:34
.
Some situations just beg for words- and you give them. In neat quantity. It's like a whole week with a brand new woman/man: awkward, then not, hot, then comfortable.
Thanks for that :)
V
IKnowNoBox
Thu, 2014-06-05 13:00
Thanks for the comments all.
I have actually pondered over additional stanzas but I always came back to these core bits.
Oh words are indeed one of lives untapped apparatuses.
I was going for three examples of how words lead to, and get us out of situations.
In ink,
david
author comment