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Fire in my bones

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Sun, 2014-06-01 01:58

Words appear as
fire in my bones
memories like fuel on red ashes

Writing things down
cools the flames burning
At the end of the day
I am who I am

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sun, 2014-06-01 15:28

Rula's picture

hello barbra

This is so simple but so expressive as I see it. I really like it. Only the word "hot" doesn't look right to describe the flames...Maybe another adjective or even nothing is needed there.
just thoughts. I really enjoyed . Hope all is well.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Mon, 2014-06-02 18:28

Barbara Writes's picture

thanks Rula

I guess flames explains itself as being hot since its aflame. Lol

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

Mon, 2014-06-02 19:57

alidzain's picture

Hi Barbara

I must say I really enjoy reading this piece. Thanks for sharing!

Alid

Mon, 2014-06-02 20:40

Barbara Writes's picture

Alid

thanks you are welcome

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

Tue, 2014-06-03 04:25

Ian.T's picture

Barbara

A great theme expressed in a few words, lovely,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Tue, 2014-06-03 10:11

Barbara Writes's picture

thanks Ian

appreciate the kind critique

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

Wed, 2014-06-04 06:43

emeka ozurumba's picture

the words were too few for me

the words were too few for me, but fine initiative please add more conception to the poem for its longevity and uniqueness

Wed, 2014-06-04 11:52

Barbara Writes's picture

emeka

thanks

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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