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In his footsteps

In his footsteps

Your Loneliness
will one day
some day…

make you an outstanding poet
which you already are
and you are now making a line
fine
out of your own condition,
this is outstanding
as you wish to live alone
without your family..

I had to spend just a day
and you know
tears rolled away
had to make tea,
for lunch,

so make not a mistake
your life can still be happy and gay,
no not the way of today
but old ways

and yet poetry will flow
like a river in Toronto
and as you is a USA'ite
perhaps Mississippi
will make your name flow
and heavens shall glow.

I am following your footsteps
Sir!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Written in praise of another is fine now come on it has the bones of a very good piece, yet you seem to flirt with the words that become softer.
Bring a little more toughness into your way and let us hear your words ring out, they are there at the end of your quill, they just need a nudge..
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Bring a little more toughness???

into your way and let us hear your words ring out,????

they are there at the end of your quill, they just need .....a nudge..!!!!!!
like what???

loved

author comment

is ":you"?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

you know
who is who
and no not for you

this is for another who
I dare not say anything about you
you are the imbibing spirit in my minds eye
can any one challenge you ?

my, my you are above all
even the sky
who am I?
to say a word about you
my Master!
To Sir with obeisance
not love!

loved

author comment

Your Poem or write is a little ambiguous, I would like to see more solid praise or whatever, just cant think of any poet that at the moment would be up to these lines so become fictitious and give the whole thing a body without a name.
Not sure what though it just seemed to slip below the praise level such a person should have.
Take care young Bard, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

speak of the taste
oh what a waste ...
this guys a grace
and his footsteps often you too trace
and as Jess says for me and him ,
he too does whine for a praise
but with rhythmic grace

loved

author comment
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