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Winter Solstice
Tonight I heard a snowflake
In fractal notation
Whisperings of winter
And death's final moments
In hushed darkened hibernation
Unaware of slumber
Timed to replenish
One two step one two step
Suspended stillness
Yet timed to perfection
A springtime birth
Repeated in verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
Written in haste as an introductory contribution to the community
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
themoonman
Mon, 2014-05-26 02:41
Hello Sarah,
Welcome to the site, you've hastily
written a pretty good poem, I look forward
to reading more from you.
Richard
weirdelf
Tue, 2014-05-27 06:54
Sarah, welcome to Neopoet
and may I say you have touched on a favourite topic of mine with a refreshing new voice.
I am a scientist, an atheist and a shaman, oh and a poet. I have long observed that acknowledging the solstices and equinoxes puts us in better equilibrium with our planet. You elucidate this in an intelligent and poetic way that I could only aspire to.
I very much look forward to more of your poetry.
I do question the last line, being somewhat adverse to reflexive poetry, yet I acknowledge that shamans probably invented poetry.
cf. http://www.neopoet.com/node/2646
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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