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killing joy

Within the pearled
half-light of morn',
in the stilled silence
of the first breath

I watch opaque dreams
drift to and fro,
un-lighting the last star
unhitching illusions
the black silk sheet of night
is pulled back
and white silt skies of day
roll out

again,
in this never world
I entertain grand designs
serving them respect
with small glances,
filled with the denial
of an ounce of lunacy

the kookaburra is silent
the morning song
has canceled forever,
I breathe the dust of sadness
nevermore, how can I dance in life?
when death is in my veins

Surrounded by the essence of life,
I am the agony,
in the joy of this world.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Welcome back. Your poems were missed. As generally always, you have scripted the images of dawn and the mood very nicely. In verse 3 did you mean newer world instead of never world?

Cheers...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks so much my friend I am glad you enjoyed it, I meant never world in that stanza, in the second stanza I mentioned Opaque dreams and for me this experience was other world-ish, thanks so much for the visit and the read

much love and hugs Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

It's good to have you back, angel. As usual, you never fail to fill me with envy with your poetry. Keep up the good work!

Alid

Thanks darlin' its nice to be back :) I am very happy you liked this one.

much love Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

A lovely write yet a sadness and awareness of feelings that goes beyond the dream time.
This line:- "and white silt skies of day" did you mean silt as carried by the waters of a river, or did you want silk, I think that either way it is OK but just wanted to know which word, lol.
Your lightness will become more pronounced as the day brings forth its warmness and the night is but a dream..
Take care young lady and know that it is lovely to walk with you always, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Yes this ones a little sad I am a bit manic in my poetry of late I waver from happiness to despair but I am getting there, I meant 'silt' the sky had a speckled look to it that reminded me of the silt in the water of a stream and I thought that it would work, I am glad you think so too :)

I am getting there hun I will battle for a while longer eventually I will discover calm clear waters, its only a matter of time eh ?

much love to you always Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

this, I was reminded of the other morning when I awoke. I think it was the tapping of a woodpecker that pierced my dreams and brought me to reality. I lie there thinking; I have yet another day, to realize my dreams and give what I can to the rest of the world. Every day, I try to dance; just a little. Loved this! ~ Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Big Big Smile your a sight for sore eyes, I have missed you hun, and I am very happy you liked this one its been playing round my head for weeks so I finally put pen to paper, I will message you and catch up tomorrow its so good to see you big hugs xxxx

much love and higgliest bugs Jayne xxxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

for some tis like madness
and I request more positivity from you
You are a poet of class
none can ever surpass

loved

There is beauty in most things if you look close enough, I am sorry for the sadness but I am afraid it just has to work its way out of my system, I will try not to punish you with so much dreariness lol big smile

love Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I am sad to hear that you are still fighting your illness. It just seem in the poem that you are fed up and wish you could enjoy things like family and the simple things in life. The fact that you can see those things, means that there is still a lot of life in you. For me this poem captured the pleasures in life as well as your own sad feeling..
Again and as always your illustrations are clear a vivid.
Very well written, Bravo!!

Feel better my friend, I am sending positive energy your way for the strength to continue on. There is always the light when we keep positive thoughts.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I have sent you a PM hun, I am still have a few health issues but the worst of its in remission and with luck it will stay that way...There was a feeling of being fed up there was a few other things but your right on that one, and yes I wish I could enjoy the simple things in life but after next week I am hoping that will all change :) I got everything crossed lol

biggest hugs good to see you

much love Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I didn't know you are sick. Take care, my friend. Eddie is sending you positive energy I am sending you my prayers.

Lots of love,
Alid

I said that knowing a little about Jayne, it is just my perception of the poem. I might be totally off base.
Sometimes I read poems and knowing something about the person makes me see the poem in that light.
Eddie.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

You do know me too well sometimes eh ? smile

love Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

A while back I had leukemia but I am in remission now I still have a couple of small issues I am dealing with but I am having surgery next Friday and after that I am hoping its all smooth sailing from here on out :)

much love and hugs Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

just wanna wish you the best for your upcoming surgery and in dealing with all the issues you have in your life.

With all of my love
Your friend Alid

I am there.

This reminds me of your poetry between your early trite rhyming stuff and your epiphanic works of great power.

Complex, elegant, a mixture of pain and hope.

Please let us see more.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

but I think you know that.. I hear the Kookaburra's every morning they are my heart song. The other morning they were dead silent and it was eerie.

love Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment
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