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sonnet +1

Submitted by emeka ozurumba on Sat, 2014-05-10 06:52

on yon cerulean sisters
this heart discovers a pumice in apiary
ring wings of inkling curtains
fleece cloud like fanlight
bird rainbows covert
of sky-light reeds
mauve descendants splay
velvet illumined concussions

lace of the swift attic brew
like dew temperamental befall
charlatans bruised in hope
pore fire hush mildewed
to sapphire cobbled wires
on stone shone gales flit
pearly heatwaves - this Dorset gift

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Lonnie

Sat, 2014-05-10 10:17

First one of yours I have read and it impressed me quite nicely! Hope you are well over in Nigeria, and I will be looking forward to reading more of your work!

emeka ozurumba

Sat, 2014-05-10 10:29

emeka ozurumba's picture

thanks, and yours truly, I'm reading your work also and i like it, hope to hear more from you

author comment

bloke

Sun, 2014-05-11 20:40

Well, I'm going to read all of your work now. I'm still contemplating this one, and will likely continue to throughout the day. I can't offer critique as your skill level is far beyond mine.

Thank you for the write.

Brent.

BF

emeka ozurumba

Fri, 2014-05-16 08:37

emeka ozurumba's picture

in the poem , on yon cerulean sisters is a metaphor for the clouds, glad you liked the read

author comment
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