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I bring myself to these
In the small purple spaces between the demands
Ponderous moonbeam-like moments I steal
I stretch out the time, catching sun in my hands
And climb into these luscious sensations I feel
The curl of a passion vine tendril
The wisp of a cloud against blue
The sentiment blown on the kiss of a child
And the quiet reflection on feelings for you
I dreamed of a meadow in sunshine
Where the breeze caressed grass bade me lay
And the buoyancy lust pulls for sharing
Lifted both of us up to the brightness of day
As we floated in languid soft pleasure
We were moved to a clear mountain lake
And there gently deposited soft on it’s surface
Small ripples drew outward to whisper our wake
I was torn between total immersion
And the thrill beaded call of loved ones ashore
But of course I must choose to be joining
We are ever alone, but to give love holds more
So releasing the small purple space once again
I shake off the dreaming, reluctant, but sated
And travel towards things requiring restrain
Better the balance, solitude… set to all that is inter-related.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Another of a small bundle of poems I wrote a couple of years ago, when I was trying to adjust to having a family of five instead of just 2 (easy-going mother & son)... I'm still trying to adjust & find that I rarely get these small purple moments... I've returned to Neo to try to claim them... I'll get there, space is a big issue (hopefully soon addressed... yahoo!).
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
Australia, regional Victoria
Favorite Poets
So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Tue, 2012-05-08 13:11
Oh and now its your turn
Oh and now its your turn to intoxicate our senses
and send us into your reveries
with such eloquence and grace,
the rhyming is the lull of lilting words
that carries on rocking when we're finished reading this beautiful poetry.
Your purple moments like the clematis
are climbing out of the tangled weeds
into the sky to reflect the clouds Anni
Annushka.as aye.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Cloudthings
Thu, 2012-05-10 03:22
Chuckle, thanks Ann, such generous praise... I love the little r
Chuckle, thanks Ann, such generous praise... I love the little response poems from you... love Clematis too...
I feel I am out of practice these days, this is a couple of years ago & I don't feel my work is as smooth or eloquent as it has been in the past... working my way back though!
Cheers
Anni
My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"
author commentjudyanne
Tue, 2012-05-08 15:56
beautiful
I love this anni
powerfully captivating opening
'In the small purple spaces between the demands
Ponderous moonbeam-like moments I steal'
- and then the rest - doesn't disappoint
wonderful rhythm
just a couple of things (imho I stress)
‘And climb into these luscious sensations I feel’
a little long to my ear – I’d drop the ‘these’
love
‘The curl of a passion vine tendril
The wisp of a cloud against blue
The sentiment blown on the kiss of a child
And the quiet reflection on feelings for you’
Where the breeze caressed grass bade me lay
breeze-caressed – needs the hyphen
love
‘As we floated in languid soft pleasure
We were moved to a clear mountain lake
And there gently deposited soft on it’s surface (its – no apostrophe)
Small ripples drew outward to whisper our wake’
but
‘Better the balance, solitude… set to all that is inter-related’ – oh so long, so much too long for my ear…
(and i actually don't know what you mean here... so i can't offer any suggestion :)
such word usage anni !!! beautiful images
such a gentle write
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Cloudthings
Thu, 2012-05-10 03:25
Wonderful crit Judy, greatly appreciated & for the most part I t
Wonderful crit Judy, greatly appreciated & for the most part I think we are in accord, thank you for your insights... Now it's dinner time though, I shall be back later or tomorrow to make changes... very valid, all!
Cheers
Anni
My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"
author commentIKnowNoBox
Tue, 2014-05-06 17:24
The title really comes through
all the way through the poem, though I was initially put off by it. Good to see you back on the site i missed it here.
Thanks for sharing,
David
Nordic cloud
Thu, 2014-05-08 02:31
Ah there she is, our Anni,
Ah there she is, our Anni, with her purple moments,
as if she made us an apparition that comes and goes,
we all enjoy her vision.
Perhaps this describes yourself even better now than
it did when it was first posted, I wonder, I hope so as it is
a positive and happy attitude to life, and I know that
you possess that whatever befalls you.
No need to write if you're not inclined to, or have the time,
at the moment, I didn't start till I was 68 anyway, there's
plenty of time yet, and you have the little ones to
enjoy with their fertile minds also creative and exciting,
that is lovely.
Love to you dear Anni, from Anushka.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.