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"REAL"
Often are told the tales of dreams
without reality's constraint
where we can fall between the seams
and waking world can become faint.
Fantastic worlds can flow from pen,
often times I write of them
as do many other men
before the stories become dim.
Do those in that other land,
when they fall asleep at night,
envision us here in our strand
as we endure some mundane plight?
What is it to really BE
in either existence we share?
for reality is what we see
whether we are here or there.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I saw the result of a quantum physics experiment on the boob tube the other day which showed that reality is actually affected by whether it is being observed. So does being observed in dreams affect what is real?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Tue, 2014-04-29 09:08
Stan,
when the hell did you become so deep. Damn I love this, it is a very elegant.
Bravo!
My favorite Stanza:
"Fantastic words can flow from pen,
sometimes I write of them
as do many other men
before the stories become dim."
For me this is the poems foundation...
The poem held my interest through and through.
Eddie C.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
scribbler
Tue, 2014-04-29 20:08
Hi Eddie
I've been shoveling it on deep for years......is that what you mean by deep? lol. I'm pleased this gave you something to mull over.........stan
author commentloved
Tue, 2014-04-29 10:23
I dare to sugggest ......in lower tones Stan
as do many other '''''''men............
u may now also like to include
equal '''''women
loved
scribbler
Tue, 2014-04-29 20:09
Hey loved
You ol' nit picker lol. You know that my use of Men was intended as reference to humankind..............stan
author commentloved
Tue, 2014-04-29 23:07
my ignorance
Freud told me
men are poles
wells ....make women kind
tis well now that you define
and refine
my mind
Freud is any way asleep
thanks to all ur kind of mankind
multi bi these days
they all say
LOL
loved
emeka ozurumba
Tue, 2014-04-29 14:57
these days the real world
these days the real world seems a phantasm paper placed
scribbler
Tue, 2014-04-29 20:11
Hi emeka
Indeed sometimes it seems our "reality" is stranger than our dreams. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment..........stan
author commentIan.T
Wed, 2014-04-30 19:22
Stan
Loved this piece it gave a look at two worlds one of yours and another where you think they sleep.
They never sleep, they eat not, they just are.
The word you used was BE, they are in a continuous BE, there my friend.
I asked my children these things sometimes when I ask they just laugh at Granddad and even say silly to me, I just laugh with them also they can BE in several places at once, I haven't got my head around that one yet but I shall work on it.
You both take care young Traveller you have much to do and life will be good to your Spirit, and that is the main thing.
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Wed, 2014-04-30 23:18
Hi Ian
The "children" have apparently been able to put quantum theory to use lol. If "reality" is determined by the observer then if one can observe more than one place at a time then they can be in these different realities all at the same time. The more we know, the weirder things appear...........stan
author commentIan.T
Thu, 2014-05-01 03:31
Stan
My piece that didn't seem to have been read "Another Talk" was very similar to this one of yours, where the two worlds have a little problem in being sorted.
Of late the two worlds seem to be drawing closer to a few poets, is there a general awareness happening.
Take care out there and will talk soon, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..