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dastardly batik my dog dress

market-dress, singularly
each would now trace
pattern for club disarmament
scalpel postmortem needs be
death to thoughts linger...... me
forerunner needing four wheels
man and dog share alike prostration

the oldest superstition
is dogs can ask

crimson batik dress she loosely opts
navel becomes an obese slave
lapdog is protruding intrusion
truants for invasion
recipe of routs juvenile
cast-outs rebirth of her

woman, you raised the flagpole of his eye
dappled with a dormant hope
ritual man interchanging after much
broom with legs to school sweep
earths grub of culture
brightening flash in film kiln

farm dress...... brunt with vortex
ellipses assurance; in his hoe and hand

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
these poem exploit some human ideas and the ideology behind it is that those questions can't be answered because man is a being limited with responses other than the knowledge of his creation. the poem is talking of one that is going to market after farming to sell the crops he has harvested, the club is used in representation to a scalpel which means that in fact the person is dead , and the doctors check the cause of his death, singularly every one will die their death by themselves, no taking positions. in the third stanza the reference her is to a pregnant woman about to conceive a child[a lapdog] because the baby at this stage will be staying majorly on her lap and the child is a rebirth of her. the dogs are metaphors also for some human portraiture . protruding intrusion refers to the woman's big stomach now heavy from pregnancy and the child about to intrude into existence, ellipses assurance is his death
Editing stage: 

Comments

Your write is complex in that you very rarely say things in straight words, you then have to explain what you have said.
If you with your word power could combine the two then there would be a poet to feed the world being born not a lapdog.
Your title did you mean "dastardly" not dastadly, the title is very important and the correct spelling is paramount, as there are a lot of people that would not read after that first word.
You keep writing and take care out there, Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

thanks for giving me that grammatical tutelage, i heed .thanks for visiting my poem, i love it when you do

author comment

It is a pleasure to write of your words, your English teacher and your family who taught you when you were young they were priceless.
I had my Godfather to talk to, so I had a broad accent as you can do in parts of England, it was a Wiltshire accent, one day I will talk some of the poetry here but with Jess and his Velvet voice I bow to his ways..
There is much to learn in the ways of poetry, and I seem to be running out of time here, but will stay as I am for a while with the odd prose thrown in and new poetry form as they are found and used.
Are you able to get books OK where you are, if not just let me know and I will see what there is in the world.
Our Jayne in Australia had an old dictionary that she loved but it was at the end of its days, I found one the same here and sent it.
So if there is anything you need just call me.
Take care young Man and stand tall with that faith it is good, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Ian getting your old books on verses will be nice , any ... here poetry anthologies are hard to get, except African poetry, that book i see on your profile is it a collection of poetry

author comment

The book you see on my profile page is an introduction to the Spirit world and Sadie's group there.
An adaption of one of the 125 audio tapes I have of me talking to the children from Spirit also the odd talk with the teachers there, They are on my web page under Spirit writings and there are more of Sadie, the Great Bear and the teachers, when time permits I need to transpose all of the tapes.
They are on:- yenti.co.uk if you need something to read, there are even workshop pieces from Neopoet, take care,
Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

iv schooled in England before in black-heath, i loved it there , i did my secondary school for some years in a school called black-heath blue coat , very exciting

author comment
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