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A Conversation Across a Table

Upon reflection I suppose this is
the inevitable conclusion of
the circumstances that first brought us to
this point in our sad, intertwining, lives.

I am compelled to ask you, to question
your motives, to query your reasoning,
and to try to understand how you might
have considered you would ever succeed?

Tell me, if you would, before we end this,
just how you came to the conclusion that
anything you do could ever be more
than the most pitiful inconvenience?

You sit there grunting, sweat filling your eyes,
that look of panic growing on your face
And yet, nothing. Nothing is your answer.
Ah, yes, perhaps I should remove the gag.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Pentameter with no concern for iamb or other foot. This is a thought experiment, not autobiographical.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Now that's the one way to get your point across with an argument.
The last line is perfect!

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

For me you have created the imagery, mood and sentiments, including the voice modulation in this poetic version of conversation preceding parting. I agree with Eduardo about the last line. I feel the repetition of the word "nothing" in the preceding line too lends a powerful emphatic tone to the conversation. All in all a good reading experience.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Loved the piece, then the ending,
you can let the wife go,
now that you have sent us the write,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you all for the comments

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

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