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the first is always an ellipses

Submitted by emeka ozurumba on Thu, 2014-04-17 14:49

the birds reap but they do not sow
my unfriendly stigma to these groove
gown in sticks dressed scarecrow
and worn out shoes counterpart
seeking for a job, when told of august scarce
briefcase and spring Achilles tendon
subways for all provisional matters
thereby the encampment of military enforcement

winds help his feeling real keel
dug unto an eminent cross-star
though the ducts sweat not
for the falling chestnut; set sail
broken in concordance with proportional ratio
gurgling bulge of the one eyed
or cactus with inborn leprosy
deserved with fortunate at parley
born of an orphan , an infant
peddlers between swing-thrift
bouncing from the hop of inertia

nurseling earths dew and showers
ramrod for its personal motivation
has all to do and testify thicket
shabby furze of beard grass
carcass of brazz dust soon
infantry the stump collapsed
at a big waring field
the birds then cultivated each flesh
pity or not, and ditty
the usual gale of cemetery windows
......... a coronation

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
the title means what should be always eludes from becoming, i compare the strife of man to a scarecrow on a big field guarding intrusion from birds, the same imagery of bird is used as a symbol for death , as the flesh feasting on a soldier that dies, i see this soldier as every striving man in life, the second stanza describe the scarecrow but also is metaphorical to the strive of man in life, men born uneven, one born with one eye when he deserved to be born with two eyes, also those with leprosy they somehow should have bargained their fate if life was equal. the eminent cross star represent both the scare-crows and metaphorically a mans destiny in life as winds of life toss his every sail
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Eduardo Cruz

Fri, 2014-04-18 10:01

Eduardo Cruz's picture

I like this a lot, though I feel a change in the rhythm after the first three lines. so I kind of stumble for direction.
just my opinion...
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

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