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the adventures of albion 12

Submitted by emeka ozurumba on Fri, 2014-04-04 10:15

for the wolves arm sonic
wool covered under par
tonic tunic shred
cowering echo gecko
tone least evasive
calling matting grate

round leather foster emissary
honorary vary contemporary
rosary anarchic itch
sketching Mongolia
Libra clairvoyant
yank crank sank

sunk dank flowers tower
prow powers Thorpe
Thor rope slope
breakers ganglion
minutiae battalion shone
milk-way lightening bone

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
this is a part of a long poem where i wrote my own adventures of Merlin
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Wed, 2014-04-09 19:06

Ian.T's picture
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Your use of words is excellent now there is a problem they need joining words.
The piece, I know that you have the ability to bring us another facet we can add to our poetic knowledge but as with Esker we have to know more in the words and lines you write, a string of words each having value without purpose now you need to make a story for us to read,
Yours Ian.T
Conglomeration of words explicit to the mind of another poet..
Take care yours, Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Sat, 2014-04-12 01:43

Esker's picture

was writing earlier...saturnalia i forgot about..a word i searched
and my mind keeps its numbers alive for me as my awareness
for them is wandered...i read your poetry and i feel the tempo or beat
cadence...we used to use the old fridge magnet poetry at a creative
home once...missing letters we had to extricate the feel of it..
like a drumbeat...but it was karnivale...magic..illumination..festival
and then magic keeps coming forth and i remembered that merlin
was like and is a magician.....seer...etc,,last line i like very much..

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