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s u b m i t t a n c e

Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2014-03-19 09:40

the life flows
the eyes dilate
the mouth dries

the body reacts
the voice growls
sizzling in vowels
she feels in her stomach

bends on knees
stretchs the long youthful
beautiful neck

stares at her image in the
floor length mirror
her long straight hair
glossy and fresh

tingling in anticipation
of his large strong hands
the dexterity in his fingers
covered in rings
tatoos

she splits in third person
awaiting what new imaginations
will become her visual
candy

bites her full bottom lip
her mouth becoming wet
her heart speeding
draws in a breath

watchs his long legs
come up beside her
his hands at rest
his voice deep
calming
pacing

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Thu, 2014-03-20 09:47

weirdelf's picture
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(classics included), I find it disturbing that I am able to offer so little in the way of critique.
All I can offer now is my voice.
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/s-u-b-m-i-t-t-a-n-c-e-by-esker

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Thu, 2014-03-20 20:21

Esker's picture

much is ongoing in my life....symbolism was so strong in reads..
i like freeverse as \i can tinker away with thoughts...the rap music
i listen to forces me into a fast flexible thought process and the
magic muse voices of the all girl bands are intoxicating for me...
heavy metal i enjoy too.....

up here its winter and there are many hunters and fishermen
women.....deer..bear..coyotes..partridge..ducks...moose..
i got into wolves and just asked people a lot about them..i dont go
into the deep woods...fearful because my mom put that into us
as kids....locally there are the wild peoples who keep the odd one
but its even told of late that one respects them and keeps an eye
op them as their dominance is very driven into them...that and wild
intellectual intuition.....

agression has always been a study of mine and cults etc..
and always interpersonal dynamics that make people tic
from our little areas it is so ordinarinly messed up

for me its a mythic study though....and the more of a character
and carefully i go the more heavier it is at times....
masks personas...the magic moves etc..

control
lack of it or loss

and of course my love of poetry...
a kind of rest and work area
for pushing about words and thoughts
on page.....

thank you for our friendship
throughout the times here Weirdelf

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