Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
I feel Myself
When I walk this lane,
I feel the roughness of this path.
When I run on the track,
I feel the difficulty of my speed.
When I look at you,
I feel I can do much better.
When I sit all alone,
I feel I have something to do.
When I sleep in the corner,
I feel I should get up.
When I stand by my decisions,
I feel I am what I am.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Rula
Wed, 2014-03-19 06:10
hello Augusto
and welcome back.
I didn't like the repition of the "when I..."
I can see the message you wanted but thought you can do a bit of culling to make this sharper and right to the point. Just an opinion.
As I checked your other posts, I see you don't reply to other's comment. I think this is not a
healthy thing at Neo. If you're here to enrich the site with your thoughts, communication is one of the most important tools.
Thanks for sharing anyway.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Augusto
Thu, 2014-03-20 19:02
Hi Rula,
Hi Rula,
Sorry for replying to my previous post, I will keep in mind to post regularly from now on.
Thanks for the comment on poem, I will try improve hereon.
Regards,
Augusto