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Paper Boats

I'm drawn to the glade side brook
which had eavesdropped
on our serenading nook,
when blades of grass
stroked intimate poems
on our skins.

I now cleanse all moss
on the stone washed bank
and scribble our duets
on paper boat quills
drifting on goose bumps
beneath my tweeds.

While the wind dies down
from my quickening breath
the paper boats drown
in my misty gaze,
before I retreat
to my lonesome glade.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this a lot, no crits from me. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thanks for visiting this page and your read. I am glad that you liked it.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

so much
that I have myself become
an imagination
reading your poetry
now I have decided to abandon
as without metaphors and simile
there can be composed
no poetry
and I know none how to
So what do you say I should do?
raj
friendly advice will do

loved

Thank you for your appreciative comment. Frankly I consider my self to be on a learning curve and try to pick up ideas while reading the approach and ideas of others here, though I refrain from copying. Good to know this poem created the imagery for you which was the objective.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

thanks raj

loved

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