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G.T.H.O.O.H.(Get The Hell Out Of Here)
Hey old dude it's time you leave
you've been around for far too long
I know of no one who will grieve
you're as out of date as "Pong"
Your visit here has brought much stress
except for early in November
when we began cleaning up your mess
next to go? The great pretender
So here's your hat and what's your hurry
your leaving can't come soon enough
just melt away like a light flurry
am I being over gruff ?
Goodbye and don't hurry back
your replacement is almost here
let's hope he has all that you lack
his name is Happy, Happy New Year !
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Just a quickie I threw together..............scribbler
Editing stage:
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Comments
magics02
Thu, 2010-12-30 21:26
Love it
Your metaphors are excellent and I just loved this one tremendously Stan. Great job. Happy New Yeat to you and the family
Love and Peace
Mona Marie
xoxox
scribbler
Thu, 2010-12-30 21:36
greetings mona
good to see you come back ! thank you for reading and leaving such a kind comment on this rushed write. May your new year bring you peace and tranquility..................stan
scribbler
Fri, 2010-12-31 04:22
out
You were close, it was a stinker of a year lol.................stan
scribbler
Sat, 2011-01-01 17:05
joy
I try to always hope for the best while preparing for the worst................stan
Kailashana2
Fri, 2010-12-31 06:00
Awww, ((((((Stan!))))))
Awww, ((((((Stan!))))))
Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. It's not so bad when we have loved ones, right?
TBHNYPIR...SF. (the best happy new year poem I read) (so far) ;-)
~
scribbler
Sat, 2011-01-01 17:08
new year
without the bad times we wouldn't appreciate the good . It's good to know this was the 1st new years poem you read lol..........stan
raj
Sun, 2011-01-02 07:17
Dear Stan
as Cranky..and Funny a write can get when coming from Mr, Stan !! LOL...
Wishing for the New Year to keep you in the best of cheer and humor...
warmly..
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Sun, 2011-01-02 12:52
out
This past year was one well past for me lol. thanks for the visit.................stan
mand
Sun, 2011-01-02 08:52
Hi Stan
I hope that this, and all years henceforth will be happy for you and your family.
Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Brilliant poem
scribbler
Sun, 2011-01-02 12:54
get
There is joy to be found in every year just more in some than others. I hope year goes well for you and yours also.............stan
scribbler
Sun, 2011-01-02 12:56
here
I hope both our years are better and am always glad to bring a smile to your face................stan