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Alone to Think

Alone to Think

I shall have to walk in glades of green

Or walk into my dark room there unseen

How could I ask which one to choose?

The greens have it I cannot lose.
.

The softness under foot, peaceful touches

Where walking is a silent treasure to me.

The birds sing forth, though there’s only three

Say what you want from little ole me.
.

I am here in this my sanctuary

Where my mind is brushed with perfumes

A felt tipped leaf touches my soul

As deeper in the forest I go
.

You cannot find me here as I blend unseen

No! don’t call me a chameleon

They hiss when others draw near

I am quiet here my mind is clear
.

The peace folds each moss covered bow

Nothing happens here some how

Would you dare to enter in

Best place to be, you cannot find me
.

I would ask you to walk and quiet be

Tranquillity is being alone, don’t you see

So when I return and you’re feeling low

Just ask me where, and when to go.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
An oldie from the record department while I am away.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I have always enjoyed your poems.This one is no different. Love the way you share your world with us. A question though, I notice all the stanza 3's ending words didn't rhyme. Is that being done deliberately?

I am here in this my sanctuary

Where my mind is brushed with perfumes

A felt tipped leaf touches my soul

As deeper in the forest I go

 

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth....

4am and I'm wondering when and where ? You would find me there...wonderful poem, only I too wondered at the end rhymes was it deliberate ? It did change the flow and pace but not in a bad way for me...

Lovely...

Much love always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

This poem has such a soft feel to it and while I walked through the verses you took me in a tranquil state... such is the magic of your word usage and poetic skill...thanks for posting and the experience..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I think
you alone can think
what you want to think
how can my presence or absence
help Ian
do tell me
do think
yes
all by yourself
friend

loved

http://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/alone-to-think-by-ian-t-read/s-ND68N

the lines
The birds sing forth, though there’s only three [why say that? It feels gratuitous, like it's just for the rhyme]

The peace folds each moss covered bow [I stumbled on the reading 3 times before I realised you meant "bough"]

I would remove the extra spaces between lines.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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for some moments, don't we?
Loved the theme and how you composed it.

the line
"I am here in this my sanctuary"
I think you need to remove either "this" or "my"

Thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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