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Connoisseur (eddy styx)

Connoisseur

I have always found a fragile beauty
in the subtle deformity when it is present
in the fairer sex...
a slight clubfoot, one breast discernibly
smaller than the other, or one blue eye
and the other eye green or brown.
Often on a misty Spring night, having
happened upon such a dainty maiden, I
will let her go, tipping my hat to her shadow
abstaining to sip from that glass whilst instead
savoring another special bouquet
of seasoned claret.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This piece is going into: The Book of Styx II. I need feedback to know if it is ready or not for publication. Thanx, eddy
Editing stage: 

Comments

Cat,

Eddy is one 'fucked up' character...only he would find beauty in deformity!

This one works very well, because we already know the character and what he is like. It should be a weird poem because of the theme, but being Mr Styx, it feels as normal as bread and butter.

I wouldn't change it as it fits the character exactly as I want to visualise him.

It's ready for book II.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

It is good to know that this piece is ready for the book! Steve will go through all of my "collection" for grammatical errors and spelling, before I send them to the publisher. He has limited time so it will take awhile. I am not the most patient of creatures, as you know, "I want it NOW!" lol! I will send you the whole manuscript, if you are willing, for your reading and perusal. I would welcome your ideas and suggestions.

always, eddy (and Cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Cat,

"I will send you the whole manuscript, if you are willing, for your reading and perusal. I would welcome your ideas and suggestions"

well let me think about that offer for a nanosecond! LOL!

I am as impatient as you...so hurry up will ya!

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Your wish is my command!

always, eddy!

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Thank you, lovely Lady! This piece is going to be included into "the Book of Styx II" so it is wonderful to read your reaction to it! Thanks for all your help,

always, eddy (and Cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

my favourite lines which epitomise the character of a connoisseur of sorts.

having
happened upon such a dainty maiden, I
will let her go, tipping my hat to her shadow
abstaining to sip from that glass whilst instead
savoring another special bouquet
of seasoned claret.

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

I always enjoy when a reader includes the part of the poem which touched them, into their comment! Thank you for your positive response. I always look forward to your responses!

always, eddy (and Cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

That Eddy is one warped son of a gun.

Pefectly dark stuff', another master piece.

ps, I wonder how Eddy would get on with Highway Jack ?

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Hi Lou! Thanks for the thumbs up! Twisted Mister, indeed, lol. Pardon my ignorance, but who is Highway Jack? You've got me curious!

love, eddy (and Cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Cat,

Highway Jack is my Vampire Highwayman, from Old Neo.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I guess I'm still having trouble with my short term memories. It is so annoying! I hope that someday I will recover all those memories. I can think of many long term memories that I could do without! But now that you mention it, it does ring a bell! I would love to read more from Highway Jack! He sounds like eddy's and my cup of tea! Thanks in the help to remembering!
love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Thank you for your comment and for the help with the problem word. I looked it up in the dictionary, just now and found that it should be "clubfoot." I always appreciate help with my poems and prose etc.

always, eddy (love Cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

yes I can see eddy tipping his hat , the image from the cover off his book" I
will let her go, tipping my hat to her shadow
abstaining to sip from that glass whilst instead
savoring another special bouquet"
dark and twisted ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Thanks Ziggy, I'm so glad that the imagery worked for you! This poem will go into "the Book of Styx II" and I need to know what works, thanks again dear friend and reader.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I have keenly observed,
you always add
portions of a poet’s
rendition, it adds color to beauty
and perfume
sublime ,
as I now learn lovelier critic of thine
as upon the delicacies of poetry
and
connoisseur of beauty,
I myself define .
you are the one and only sublime ,
to let me know
when, if ever I shall be able to pen
in print, a poetry book of mine
truthfully,
no jam ,no butter
Cat you could be
curt and bitter.

one breast discernibly
smaller than the other, or one blue eye
and the other eye green or brown.

loved

I always appreciate you visiting my poems and leaving a comment or critique. Thank you for reading.

always, eddy (& cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I have just composed
a modified version
and
you haven't answered
I know you would be frank
in your comment there...

loved

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