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Community News

AC Election: Announcement (January 2020)

Our election begins today, with the following individuals on the ballot:

Roscoe Lane
Miranda Ortiz
Edna Sweetlove
Alan S Jeeves
c lynn brooks

The election will continue until Saturday, February 1st (5 pm Eastern Time).

You may view the voting guide (and candidates may update their responses) here:


Chat is back and it's only gotten better! If you are free this Saturday at 9 PM eastern time come join our host in a night that will keep you, entertained and will expose that dark side of you, you never wanted to show. Join in on a night to remember bring your dark side and let''s celebrate chat's return.

January Contest Announcement!

Open to all members
Start/end date: Wednesday, January 1, 2020 to Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Welcoming in the new year or ushering out the old

Contest description:
Since it is a new year let's write about either the beginning of the new year or the end of the old. Must be in quatrains but doesn't have any other restriction other than length. Please keep poem under 9 quatrains

December 2019 Contest Result

Congratulations to the winner: Geezer
Please visit the winning poem here:

Thank you to all participants for entering this past contest and all contests.


The Neopoet Administrative Council and Trustees announces the formation of the Cabinet. This body will work closely with the AC and the Trustees. The AC will continue focusing on policy, on approving new Advocates, and managing disputes between members, and will continue to have final authority in those areas, even in the event a dispute involves a Cabinet member. The Cabinet will be focused on day-day management of volunteer positions, such as the Guides and Workshop programs, on managing our social media program, and when relaunched, on our chat program.

It is with great pleasure to announce that the following individuals have been chosen to represent Neopoet in the Cabinet:

Jonathon (pugilist) as the chair of the Cabinet
Paul as co-chair of the Cabinet
Mark as secretary to the Cabinet
Jess (weirdelf) as our Workshop Coordinator
Guy (Geezer) as our Community Outreach Director
Tonya as our Social Media Expert

Please help us in congratulating these individuals who represent the ideals, values, and strengths that we believe will move Neopoet into the future.

Open Nomination Period

The open nomination period for the next Administrative Council is underway:

Nominate yourself or any other member for the AC at:

Nominations are accepted until midnight Eastern Time, Friday, December 27th.

We expect the election will follow shortly after the close of the nomination period.

The stream (all workshops)

This is the stream - you can see all poems on Neopoet, live, as they are created.



I wish I was Lego man with
replaceable bolt on bits,
with pop off detachable arse-hole
and grease nipples on my tits,

wish I was Lego man
with a gearbox for a brain
and a cabriolet flip top hair do
-- as protection from the rain,

my feet could be two dustbin lids
held on by wire n rope;
maybe double up as landing skids
- but no good on a slope!

Old Abraham Lincoln one fine sunny day
Stopped a bullet whilst watching a play
And all the people just wanted to know
How much his poor wife had enjoyed the show.

J F Kennedy with his insatiable fat phallus
Went for a drive one day in the city of Dallas;
But then Mr Oswald picked up a gun
And shot him stone dead for a nice bit of fun.

M L King climbed up onto his rostrum
To deliver a well-meaning tedious nostrum;
He told his brothers that he'd had a dream,
But a well-aimed bullet put paid to that scheme.

Drunk Talk (for my friend wilton allen)

we drank together way back when
several times a week
you sneaking beer in the boiler room
i with my gin on the end of my couch
we talked as boats and bicycles passed you by
as slow as the minutes you said she took
to get ready for anything anywhere


Youth shrivels
as one comes of age
I’ll too pass from this page

I wish I was the wizard

I wish I was the tin man
Out there cutting wood;
I'd rely upon the lube can
To keep my elbows good.
All day I'd task and toil
Until it's time for tea,
And then I'd take a squirt of oil
To keep my knee joints free.

Fluff Nuttier

I wish I had one of Ma’s Fluffer-Nutters
On bread fresh from the Sunbeam store,
Store attached to the baking factory
In Lawrence Massachusetts.

I could never make one without,
Without tearing the bread apart
But Ma was a culinary genius.
The right amount of PB & Fluff
At the right temperatures.
The fluffer-nutter and Ma were real.

Like a nutty poet I know
That likes to write fluff,
Silly stuff that doesn’t break apart
And is real as those sandwiches
That only Ma could make.

Onward Zionist Soldiers! (Part Two)

Onward, Zionist soldiers,
marching as to war,
With the star of David
going on before!

See Netanyahu’s armies
paid for by yankee gold
Killing women and kiddies
doing as they’re told.

Onward Zionist soldiers
longing for a war
With the Star of David
drenched in Gazan gore!

Onward Zionist settlers
stealing Palestinian lands
With the deaths of thousands
on your greedy hands!


Don't tell him to be calm now
not this particular hour of the night
when his brain above are snoring,
and the one between the legs awake
well stretched and hungry
seeking a miracle to perform.

every corner, he seem to be
restless fingers battle, babe you should know
up and down and down mostly
moonlight stories are in vain.
your monthly rivers I 've known
and a drop of your antidote i seek.

hidden between this two gates
heaven can be promised
to get the key to the promise land.

Kiss My Lips

give way to fame
the sorrowful & insane
childlike hood
in a good mood

breath on me good
the part of me to churn
kiss my lips as you move your hips
you stand at the center of my soul

gone are the days of washed rock & roll

A Night Of Love In Tijuana, Down Mexico Way

Dirty rundown cheap hotel
Bed crumpled with half-ironed
And patched sheets,
Stained with last night's lust.

Sour sweet sewage smells
Seeping through the open window
Above the noise of ceaseless traffic
And braying gringo tourists.

The fat white man lay on the bed
Stretched out post-orgasmically
His skull crushed to a pulp
Brains splattered on the pillow.

A trembling young girl-child
Searches through his pockets
Seeking his unspent dollars;
And he'd never see his wife or kids again.


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