What has happened to your writing? Since coming to NeoPoet everything I see coming from you is three times as complex as your work before and this "rhymer" is brilliantly original. Talk about writing out of the box.
wesley

I always wanted to creep 'n
sleep in your heart -ocean
So deep shall leap my heart
If ever you accept the notion.

Or should I be a commotion,
an abrupt motion in you-sea?
Know, I shall always be a wave, brave
to save a love, if ever been stolen from me.

Ok, I copied it here so I could see it easily,
I question your use of the hyphen, for one thing
it shouldn't have a space between unless "and"
is part of the run on, but it also should be sensible,
heart -ocean; perhaps heart-ocean which I would've
used heart's ocean. The "you-sea", the hyphen is right
but it makes little sense, perhaps your-sea but I don't
think there would be a need for the hyphen there.
I like your little poem and it was only these two things
that caused me to stop, which a poet doesn't want the
reader to do, it should flow with ease, at least that's what
we strive for. Your internal rhyme was right on, I really liked
the first line which is a grabber for me.

thank you for posting

this is beautiful

i have one question
'to save a love, if ever been stolen from me'
-'been' -- i'm just wondering if you might mean 'being' - as in happening at the time, rather than 'been' as in past tense??
- but can i suggest that you drop the word altogether? for rhythm...

great rhyme, lovely theme

love judy
xxx

and it satisfies not just in content and the 'terms of the exercise' but in a feeling of naturalness, so hard to attain.