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A Study in Pink (Section Eleven)
"Bring on all the suspects now and haste,
ordered Maure, we have no much time to waste."
" We've already some valid clues, and
I've got reports 'bout a wife's abuse!!"
Now Macwill couldn't find his wife, his fears grow,
and thought she could give his business-life a blow.
"If cops find out what's going in the bed
they sure would charge me of Fitzory's head."
"I suspected the relation of
Macwill and Flitz, and that was enough
to give Mac a reason to end his life."
Anable said it all, she described a knife,
"I saw it in his pocket, last night at the bar"
Yet I never thought it'll go that far."
Here Here", thought Maure "someone's lying
And is that why Mac's wife is seen there crying?" "
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Wow! I start to like this, don't you think! it's exciting!
Editing stage:
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Comments
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2014-10-01 01:45
This is taking quite the turn
This is taking quite the turn...it is late night here so I will post tomorrow
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Wed, 2014-10-01 12:11
hello Carrie
Yes, I've tried to create a turn. Hope it works well with the detectives.
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author commentlonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2014-10-01 12:00
It has
worked well with the detectives. I was able to incorporate my character into dealing with the detectives based on what you and Wesley did. This is getting really good :)
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Ian.T
Wed, 2014-10-01 04:34
Rula
A good write made me smile as I hate the song about
"Mac the Knife" lol he was from the prohibition days stateside??
But the original in 1888 that's great, still smiling,
Yours, Ian
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Rula
Wed, 2014-10-01 11:34
hello Ian
I'm happy this brought a smile. Hope it works well to help the detectives.
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author commentraj
Wed, 2014-10-01 13:16
Rula
You wanted the mystery to be solved quickly and Lovedly, you and Carrie have in fact added more twists and turns to it :)...in fact Carrie has complicated matters by suggesting that Anabel is a male which is mind boggling eh! :)
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2014-10-01 13:22
Raj
You know how I write. It wouldn't be me if there wasn't some type of deviation. Glad you picked up on the twist at the end, I was wondering if it would blow anyone's mind!!!
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
raj
Wed, 2014-10-01 13:29
Carrie
Yes it is mind blowing to know that Anabel is in fact a male (Jim). You guys are certainly going crazy :)
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2014-10-01 13:41
:)
More to come on Anabel/Jim. Blowing minds with my deviant writing, it's what I do best :) This is definitely fun .
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
alidzain
Wed, 2014-10-01 13:56
Oh ho
this one is quite the turner. It's my fault for not adding that Macwill is not married. Now that mistake is gonna haunt me.lol.
Alid
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2014-10-01 14:11
hahaha
that's okay..that is why we call it a mystery. Facts are being revealed that weren't present before. Anabel's identity issues are significant to her arrival in London and to her past. We shall see what Guy French decides to do with the information he has learned....as well as what the other writers decide to do...once the shock wears off.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
wesley snow
Wed, 2014-10-01 21:18
Don't forget
Loved's body switch (even though her mention of the knife no longer works because it is in the possession of Mackwill).
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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scribbler
Thu, 2014-10-02 00:40
Knife
Ah, but there could easily be Two knives. there might have been another as yet undiscovered murder by now. Plus in any good mystery red herrings abound lol
alidzain
Wed, 2014-10-01 21:42
wait a minute!
What is the meaning of this -
"If cops find out what's going in the bed
they sure would charge me of Fitzory's head."
you're not suggesting Macwill's wife has an affair with the victim, are you? AAAAAAAAH!!!This is going out of control. Now I'm stuck..Grrrrrrrrrr.
Alid
Geezer
Wed, 2014-10-01 21:50
I'm pretty sure...
that that what was intended! It certainly does add to the mystery and suspect list!
I like the idea of Fitzy being involved with Mac's wife. It sure does give Mac a reason to kill him. ~ Gee
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alidzain
Wed, 2014-10-01 22:02
and I am doomed.
One stupid mistake in the profile and suddenly I'm in a mess. Can somebody else take over my turn? 'cos I'm lost. really, really lost...:Yeah I know it adds flavor to my profile but to me, it taste yucky now.lol
Alid
wesley snow
Wed, 2014-10-01 23:48
Don't panic.
First of all you don't have to zero in on the affair thing. We have a whole ensemble of characters that need print time. Let everyone else push that part of the story.
Also, don't forget that if Mackwill did the deed, he doesn't know he did. He was possessed. Give it a go and don't be afraid to take some time. We are not in that much of a hurry. Also, this is the part where I tell you that I "said" it was to be a challenging (and incredibly weird) workshop.
Everyone has been barreling along helter skelter. If you took a little time to figure out where you want to go it will give everyone the same break so they can think too.
You don't have to write about your character only. Our detectives need to find out what our witnesses saw. No one has addressed that. Give it a thought.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
lonlyhrtsclub13
Thu, 2014-10-02 06:54
Mog
As jealousy, rage, disappointment, grief..a whole gamet of emotions causing a psychological break from reality aka possession. That would explain why mac doesn't remember doing the deed, if he did it. Total black out mentally. Now...we have a switched body...so this leaves the possibility that Fitz is alive and well...since he is a sexually deviant, he and the transvestic anabel would be a likely pair...perhaps they did the unknown victim in. ..just throwing some ideas.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2014-10-02 11:16
Amazing
I wrote my piece late last night. You will be amazed at how your section is connected to my section. Can't wait to post it when my turn.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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