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Sometimes I think love is...
I wish for a love like a child wishes for gifts
I long to know what this mysterious feeling is like
will I recognize the scent like a mother's homemade cookies?
will I hear it like someone calling my name?
will I feel it wrap around me and fill me with joy?
Sometimes I think I can taste it when I eat alone at a restaurant
it tastes like the summer sun and lemonade on a scolding day
it tastes like hot cocoa and snuggling by the fire when it's cold
it tastes like sipping tea with your pinky up and giggling with friends
Sometimes I think I can hear it when I'm watching TV alone at home
It sounds like kids playing and screaming at the playground
it sounds like family's belting out songs that they all know
it sounds like friends finishing each other's sentences
Sometimes I think I can feel it when I walk alone down the hallway at school
It feels like dancing with friends and holding your crush's hands
it feels like hugging your parents when you're crying from a bad day
it feels like doing your secret handshake with your best friend
Without love it feels like a game of hide and seek, but where you never get found
it's like being the last kid to be picked for dodgeball
it's like that one french fry that falls between the seats never to be seen again
it's like sitting at a lunch table alone in the cafeteria
it's like being surrounded by people but no one notices you
Maybe my senses just will never come by love
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
sorry i know this is depressing
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2021-11-10 08:47
Your title is great...
your language use is very good and does not require thinking about, it tells the story. The pace is steady and no surprises.
I enjoyed the theme; as it details what people might think of when they think about what is love? It was/is not depressing as it lets me know that you do, indeed know what love is. It is all those things and more! It is even the disappointments, the hardships and the day to day things that go wrong. No matter what anyone says; they do not wake up and smile through the whole day! Watch the people around you. Look at their face when they experience some small disappointment, you will often see a flash of a frown. We are very complex beings and it takes the whole gamut and range of emotions to express Love!
When you see the way that it can transform a person, you will understand, that without Yin there is no Yang, without the dark, there can be no day. A very good poem!~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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lovedly
Wed, 2021-11-10 12:20
WHAT IS LOVE
Start with self
then keep adding
from ones own womb
to universal tombs
you will need more experience to find out
what LOVE really is
it's UNDEFINABLE
You will soon realize it ....as you become as old as me
great vision still
I 'd grant to ye VIVI
lovedly
Mon, 2021-11-22 17:01
I I'm and I'll
are all different from being
ill
and do return a comment.... if you desire to shine on neo's strength ....I have always done ask Gee
I also remove poems he dislikes off me
Geezer
Fri, 2022-11-04 22:21
Is that you?...
Vivi I've missed you! Hope I get to see you write something new! Happy Holidays! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Mon, 2022-11-07 12:26
Sometimes I Think Love Is...
Hello, Viviana,
Using the senses to describe love is very clever. Reading this poem, I think it is looking in all the right places, too. Strong final line, which I cannot believe. Love will eventually be found.
Thank you!
L
Abby
Mon, 2022-11-21 10:31
This is a really relatable
This is a really relatable poem. I think we’ve all longed for that kind of love before. This is a beautiful poem. I also love the personification of love here.
"To fly is to fall."