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In search for peace

I once walked
with the empty streets
to meet the dawn
but they never took me there-
where peace could be found.

Instead they led me
to life's lamenting shores
where I endlessly talked
to the empty shells,
to the broken waves,
and to the withering sands
just to find out that
peace has there
forever drowned.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

In of peace at the shores of life water
has indeed forever drowned.

I like the many metaphors:

lamentable shores of life
meet the dawn
empty shells
broken waves
withering sands

You really descriptively show how hard it is to find peace which is a serious issue in this world.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Thanks for dropping a nice comment. really appreciated.

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author comment

nothing to suggest - a great write

i just love the whole idea - exquisitely said
great word usage to get a real melancholic feel –
once
empty
life's lamenting shores
endlessly talked
empty shells
broken waves
withering sands…

and the end -
‘just to find out that
peace has there
forever drowned’ - wonderful

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Great metaphors and message! I loved the imagery in this sad yet descriptive piece. My favorite lines are:

I endlessly talked
to the empty shells,
to the broken waves,
and to the withering sands
just to find out that
peace has there
forever drowned.

love your style!
always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

A sad write young lady..
We can only teach of our peace, that we shout at the Moon is a waste, we must teach the children of love and understanding.
Firstly though we must teach them to listen to the beauty there is in silence.
If in silence you can hear a sound it is of the universe breathing,
go teach the children that you see each day of the beauty you know is there, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

beautiful...

in a world lacking of cheer
where the sunlight's touch
reveals a sad story
i find peace as elusive as ever
a dream ever present
but is yet within reach
until a wise man told me
i have been searching for it
at the wrong places
for peace exist within me
when i reach out to Him
and i recite His Name in my prayers

Alid

Search not to wonder what you can do
The world will not listen to you
Then think of something sacred that will be of use
Your inner self

Teach it to be aware of all things
Then let it be wise in knowing what you can do
If there is nothing that can change those things
Just send Love

If you should wander away to change things
Then take with you a case of unconditional love
Give it away freely to all you meet out there
Just say we care

It is noted by the universe our tears do flow
There in the vastness of space and being
They will know you love your fellow man just so
More none can give

Yenti

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

for the kind advice, sir.

alid

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