Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Freestyle

Common life let’s face each other
Bring some challenges for me I will all conquer together,
You will witness the way I walk,
You will witness the way I talk,
You will see the spirit in my blood against you,
You will see the shield myself in front of you,
I won’t fell down so easy so stop trying me and do it on other,
Common life let’s face each other,
Bring some challenges for me I will all conquer together...

I have anger in my heart,
Will not be explained by words,
I have fallen and risen so many times,
I have won and lost so many times,
There is no wave that will sink me as other,
Common life let’s face each other,
Bring some challenges for me I will all conquer together...

I have expressed my words in my book,
It’s from my heart that I shoot,
Just wait a little bit more,
God is testing a lot,
Schrey you will have to stick to your own words,
People who say you can’t do anything,
Just achieve your goals and say bye to them forever,
Common life let’s face each other,
Bring some challenges for me I will all conquer together...

Everyday is a new story,
Life is not fair sometimes but you don’t need to worry,
I will give up, push myself down, never think of that ever,
I will fight with you till my last breath even though it takes me forever,
Common life let’s face each other,
Bring some challenges for schrey he will all conquer together...

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
It’s for those who thinks that they have failed in their life.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the title. I think that it means that you are taking things as they come and dealing with them one at a time?
I would change the lines that say: "Bring some challenges for me that I will all conquer together." I would make them say:
Bring me some challenges, let's conquer them together. How about saying: "You will see me shielding myself from you" ?
That sounds like you are making the effort to do what you can to solve your problems in everyday life. I get your idea. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you very much

Schrey
Life is so small so do something special.

author comment

I have a question... do you mean: (common life) or (come on life) ? and in what way is this an" alter ego" poem? who exactly is the alter ego?

always, Cat
-

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I meant come on life let's face each other but I used common life because it is easy to say lol. In this poem in my aspect ego is in the life and it's up to human how to break it's ego. All I mean is that sometimes life is unfair but you should never feel down and you should keep working hard. One day your time will come. For example, If there is a rising sun so there will be a setting sun too. I hope you understand this. Feel free to message me.

Schrey
Life is so small so do something special.

author comment

thank you for taking the time to clarify it for me :)

always, Cat
-

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.