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Exes, again
Your terrifying childhood,
with young decisions gone awry,
shelter was not always a home
With insecurity to spare,
the best you could do
I struggled to forgive
Sometimes we could see each other,
but mostly we could not
In between the absent days,
when you were here
but in some other place,
love may have been there
but I had to guess most of the time
and I was terrible at it
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Practiced my guessing skills for a loooong time, until I no longer needed to - thank you serendipity!
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2021-11-29 07:46
This, hits home...
I know how you feel. It's not easy to tip-toe around another person's emotions and in trying not to expose the raw nerves,
we may inadvertently get it wrong by guessing. A somber piece, giving hints of self-flagellation, for not fully understanding
a partner's moods. I think the title is fine. The pacing rolls on smoothly and a familiar theme that flows smoothly from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Ray Whitaker
Mon, 2021-11-29 21:53
Strong.
No doubt, this piece of yours addresses that "ex' thing well. Love the last line. the poem works well as far as I'm concerned. it took me to a place where I leave that box closed.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Sen99
Wed, 2021-12-01 05:42
Thanks for sharing
Good title, brevity is best, this is relatable to me, experience with an ex