www.neopoet.com/your-name-here? — get your space on the web — Register Free
Submitted by rider68 on 28 March 2008 - 4:02am.
I’m sitting, deep in thought, to a place, a time,
When you weren’t just a presence or a state of mind,
Years have now past, since we spoke last,
And words have I which need to be cast,
To remember a time, when we last laught,
A time Rejoiced, embraced… ………….in,
The remembrance of your smile,
The warmth of your heart,
Your caring light that shone so bright,
And the love that you gave,
A haven for some lost souls,
Tears have been cried,
And wounds…. are still, left deep inside,
“Pam”
I’ve shed no tears for a mother
But I’ve cried tears for a friend,
I’ve sob for the times that was robbed of you,
You left and were taken, never to return,
Your spirit had been stolen,
And we were left to ponder why,
It wasn’t your time,
The light of your life,
Has now gone and passed us by,
Spain had been blessed,
And saintly they laid you to rest,
Whilst we were left to bury, your empty remains,
Pam
Thank-you for being there,
I was lost, young, and very confused,
Thank-you for the fact that you cared,
I was sad and much abused,
Thank-you for the words that you spared,
They warmed the ears and muted my pride,
Thank-you just for the time that we shared,
I will always love the memory of you,
Thank you.
A Grateful saved soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~
There Are Many Great Pam’s,
This was mine,
rider68
permit me to correct a few errors
to a place(and) a time or to a place,a time(comma)
and words have I which I need to be cast etc
sentence seems choppy to me
to remember a time a yesterday( I would suggest one or the other)
inbrace(embrace is correct)
and all confused ( would sound better if you left the all off)
a heartfelt tribute to someone dear
my suggestions are only that you are the author it is your choice
Chrys
Thanks Chrys
I tried uploading yestrday, but had trouble posting, some of your points i had
amended, But failed to save to file, so in haste I’ve copied and pasted, and failed to check prior to posting,
Thanks for your points, which i have embraced,”Ha” “Ha” a silly mistake, Cat’s Beer is still flowing……………
Very Best Regards
Peter
There is nothing I can add
There is nothing I can add to what Chrys said, except that I too had a helping hand from someone older, at a time when I was very lost. He helped me to develope my love of poetry and encouraged me to keep writing. I know how hard it is to lose someone like that. A very touching poem which stirrs emotions in the reader.
Always, Cat
p.s.
keep the beer flowing, suds up!
Thanks Cat
It’s often the case,
and only then that you realize, it’s to late, to to say the things
that you should have said when they were alive,
Regards
Peter