Neopoet.com

Neopoet.com - a global poetry community.
Grow as a poet. Get honest feedback on your work. — Register Free
 

Style / Type: 
freeform

Ponderous pondering of perpetual plight
deep are all thoughts
Actions deeper still
Other worlds  beating down my front door
Worlds I have already seen

Drifting outward toward other realms
While I teeter on the precipice of reality
Taunting, tempting leading me there
I close my eyes and all I see are whispers
I open my ears and all I can hear is dark

Leaving me with insipid dreams
Of a moth eaten life
Hanging in the balance
Somewhere between  the lies and truth

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Because you asked for this Candelwitch(cat) and only for that reason
4.333335
Average: 4.3 (3 votes)
Submitted by Candlewitch on 27 March 2008 - 2:51pm.
Candlewitch's picture

Whoa,

This is so weird… First there was nothing here, and now everything is back. I would have sworn I was only drinking diet coke…

Submitted by Rolwright on 27 March 2008 - 3:06pm.

I swear

I ain’t trying to offend you but you are sounding real poetic there and I just want to let you know keep doing what you are cause if anybody else don’t see it
you are a star you just got to believe that you are Love Life Forever

Submitted by Rolwright on 27 March 2008 - 3:09pm.

My Bad

But who in the fuck are you really

Submitted by Rolwright on 27 March 2008 - 3:20pm.

I'm Sorry (Sike)

How Much does green notes have to go for me to show that hip hop ain’t all
about dough this is a travesty You’ve learned that’s a emergency
I’m fully equippped to ill with some potency I’m a regular dude but now you
notice me

Submitted by Candlewitch on 27 March 2008 - 11:48am.
Candlewitch's picture

Hey Chrys,

This piece was well worth the wait. You did a fine job both descriptively and emotionally, but I would like to kill the a$$hole who has driven you to this point. If thoughts can kill, he is in for a whole world of hurtin’

Always, Cat

p.s.
Husband #1 left me in a really bad situation, sick and in the hospital, with no home to come home to.

Submitted by poewriter58 on 27 March 2008 - 12:03pm.
poewriter58's picture

Cat

you already know he answer to that question
you ask for another non rhyming in depth poem and I gave you one

Thanks for the emotional comment my friend
Chrys

Submitted by Candlewitch on 27 March 2008 - 2:49pm.
Candlewitch's picture

WTF?

What happened to the comment that I wrote here? It just vanished? I’m also having problems posting comments and responses to comments. Something strange going on today…

Always, Cat

Submitted by mark on 27 March 2008 - 8:18pm.
mark's picture

I was not

what I thought I was and tried so hard to stay there. All it did was eat me up and take me to the edge of existance. I was a child following the other children knowing I was so right but what in the hell was I to know after all it is impossible unles I could hear and see the beauty in this poetry. So I can only write on the poetry here. It takes me, as really, I am no child. Don’t say don’t and I won’t say yes :) But rather talk in terms of the deffinition of don’t and we reach a point where feelings are intact. I am so sorry that this hapens in your string Chrys. There is one in every crowd yes? The bambino …

Damn straight on that line about taking action ;)
Mark

Submitted by poewriter58 on 27 March 2008 - 10:53pm.
poewriter58's picture

merci Mark

for your comments and help
Chrys

Submitted by poewriter58 on 28 March 2008 - 4:03am.
poewriter58's picture

thank you

rhanks Gar
if you think you are confused lol consider the source
chrys

Submitted by mark on 28 March 2008 - 12:42am.
mark's picture

I think so maybe yes Great Job !

but ya know even a lost soul is responsible for what it’s mind and body does lol I think being honest with yourself will prevent your life from being eaten and your song will indeed be welcomed. (just some rambling here)
Mark

Submitted by poewriter58 on 28 March 2008 - 4:05am.
poewriter58's picture

Mark

ramble on mom ami, ramble on
someone once said if you think you are insane chances are you are not phew
thanks Mark
Chrys

Submitted by mark on 28 March 2008 - 7:08am.
mark's picture

lol

I love that quote !