Grow as a poet. Get honest feedback on your work. — Register Free
Submitted by Kieran Nelson on 24 March 2008 - 4:03pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Looking out the window
I can see him below
Little Jimmy, sporting
His brand new bright
Cotton wool coat.
And there beside him
Is little sister Lucy
Playing with the buttons
On her bubble wrap dress.
While mother watches.
She stands not three feet
Behind them both with
What looks like two harnesses
In hand. Pink one and blue
no one is left out.
Then there’s a sudden commotion.
No time to harness up
And all three run inside
With a shriek, they lock the door.
And now below, a happy bee
Buzzes about his business,
Unaware of the trauma
He has caused.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Just a fun little number inspired by the media.

took me back
Barbara Writes took me back to the days when my niece, now about thirty, stormed the house running from a butterfly at the age five. really good enjoyed this. His brand new bright Cotton wool coat. stop flow a little. otherwise great writing.
rumble of the stumble
can still remember a bee flying
straight at me as a child mother
training us to be terrified of
all nature as we lived in the
country sweet
he was as large as my childs fist
i thought and i ran crying and shrieking
to my laughing mother who comforted my
fears then
Delightful Poem Kieran
I enjoyed this on this holiday
Monday
O