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Submitted by poewriter58 on 22 March 2008 - 8:52am.
Style / Type:
freeform
May you have the cunning and stealth of a Raven
May you find the strength and courage of an Eagle
May you be as peaceful and loving as a Dove
May you become the Phoenix and rise above
Leaving in the ashes memories of bittersweet and love
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
isn't it fascinating that birds represent so many emotions?
Hey Chrys
It is fascinating indeed. Maybe it is because they are not only beautiful but varried in type and size. I’ve always loved this piece. It is so loving and unselfish. Why is the first line bold? (I had trouble posting my poem, I had to respace everything because it wanted to couple up every two lines)
Always, Cat
cat
Yes you have seen this one before I wanted to see how it faired with these good people
It was written for Connie
Chrys
Nice little pray on a lovely poem
the raven is such a good example here they are very intelgent and they love things that shine As the light they are little thieves to, I had an Uncle who actully taught one that was thrown for its nest to say his name Albert Albert over and over My aunt told him he should Have of taught it to say the famous line of Eger Allen Poe’s poem the raven Never More but my other aunt finally released it from the cage before he could teach it and it was herd about town yelling my uncles name Albert Albert for a good month Donnie/Sinbad
donnie
fascinating birds
thanks for pulling this one out of the pile
Chrys
Good job!
One small suggestion: I tripped a little on “May you have the cunning and stealth of a Raven.” - maybe “may you be cunning and stealthy as a Raven (or like a Raven)” just flows a tiny bit easier. :~)
~Jess
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“Just ‘cause you have one, doesn’t mean you need to be one…..”
Jess
This one is already in m book must have forgotten to delete it so it can’t be changed now