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Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes's picture
Advocate Volunteer
South Carolina,
United States

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Style / Type: 
freeform

Distrust behind those eyes
I cannot trust because of the lies
Sadly to say with words that tears
Your heart you will not share

Dreams I dreamt are now wasted
I try to show my love of patience
Woefully you made me hurt
Falling deeper into dirt

I have withdrawn into seclusion
Where peace is not a delusion
Stares that shows no trust
Touches my heart turning to dust

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
4.5
Average: 4.5 (2 votes)
Submitted by purplemoondoll on 23 March 2008 - 5:02am.
purplemoondoll's picture

I have withdrawn into

I have withdrawn into seclusion
Where peace is not a delusion
Stares that shows no trust
Touches my heart turning to dust

Yes I liked this. Short and full of emotion the closing lines are very good indeed.

Just one very tiny point that made me stumble a little as I read:-

Dreams I dreamt is now wasted

Should I think read are now wasted but apart from that this was a good read.

Kaz

It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Submitted by Barbara Writes on 23 March 2008 - 7:29am.
Barbara Writes's picture

Thanks kaz

Barbara Writes appreciate you reading and sharing your suggestion.