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Submitted by poewriter58 on 19 March 2008 - 9:23pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Delicate the tender stem when new
Reaching for the sun
A soft sweet bud does soon appear
Still fighting for her piece of the sky
She opens full bloom and finds the tendrils that bind
The bitter winds lash out and maim
The forces of nature are to blame
They tear and rend a life once so fine
Successfully breaking her spirit in time
Destroying all that dare raise it’s wrath
She’ll lay broken and torn upon life’s path
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
(4 votes)
cynical
wicked poem chrys a bit out of character for you but a great read
Andrew
Thank you . What can I say it is reflective of the times I guess
Chrys
Rhyme
Very moving poem with your strong hallmark imagery Chrys. Somehow with the darker subject matter in the second half i felt that the strong rhyming pattern slightly hindered rather than helped the tone…and yes i know you are a committed rhymer. lol. Keith
Keith
Thank you
I seem to be at that don’t I no matter how hard I try to break that habit
I hear what you are saying but this one just poured from me out of no where so I prefer to leave it this way
who knows perhaps when my mind frame is altered so will the poem be thanks for pointing that out
Chrys
Tender
I could actually feel and especially see this happening thanks for bringing me to a new season!
Janice
Thank you for your comments I guess I did my job with this poem after the comments I have been getting on it
See you in chat
Chrys
Quite the journey that poem
Quite the journey that poem takes us on, I do have to wonder though if there should not be more? The two sections–One dark, one light, yet in mood the opposite: nice–seem to be in need of a middle, a grey area, a life.
Then again, perhaps the life is any life: your life, my life, the life of a rose.
Hmm…
I thought the un-rhyming vs rhyming bit to be interesting: it was two poems jammed together, and yet one, one life. That worked for me, and I will now spend my day imagining that grey area….
Thank you
Interesting comments I too will consider that gray area and may revise thank you for the thought
Chrys