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Barbara Writes
United States
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Submitted by Barbara Writes on 19 March 2008 - 9:06am.| Updated 30 July 2008 - 8:35am.
Style / Type:
freeform
The Beast From Within
Out of control rants and raves
return to your cage
before I rip his heart out
A kind loving soul, I am
I wish to claw at his chest
scratch his flesh to shreds
Anger defeated my peace,
I see your eyes hanging from it socket
as pain burn like fire in my gut
Sanity ran away from home last night
Leaving rage all alone to do you in
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
(2 votes)
this is a rather a good
this is a rather a good poem…..
i like the topic and all
keep up the good work
Thanks
Barbara Writes thanks appreciate your feedback
I didn’t really like the
I didn’t really like the flow myself, everything seemed to short. And for some reason your grammar is off “Goodness loss its stage” doesn’t make sense.
I’d suggest reading over it again and at least fixing the grammar.
Kieran
“Mind, how you go!”
- Roger McGough’s poem for LSD Awareness Week
Thanks for your honesty
Barbara Writes I appreciate your opinion. Grammar will be fixed.I wanted it short, sweet and to the point. I will reread. It made the spotlight.