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Gumpymonkey

gumpymonkey's picture
General Member
So-California,
United States

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Style / Type: 
freeform

 

Raw straddling the edge of mankind,
Should he, Can he Be?
Chiseling features he wants defined.
Should he, Can he Be?

 A

Writer-Sculptor-Mathematician-Painter-Scientist

Or

An

Enigmatic-Engineer-Architect-Inventor-Anatomist

For

Tread mills made of blades of knife
Await brains DYING to be free.
He fetidly spends his dollar and life
Chasing one Leonardo da Vinci.

4
Average: 4 (5 votes)
Submitted by bayoujeanette on 12 March 2008 - 11:05pm.
bayoujeanette's picture

Great

I think this one is excellent. It is very deep in prespective. I like the ending.
Very good write poet.
Thanks, Jeanette

Submitted by purplemoondoll on 24 March 2008 - 7:10am.
purplemoondoll's picture

The last verse is great.

The last verse is great. The rest was a little hard to follow first time round but on the second reading it flowed really well - excellent. I like the idea of brains dying to be free. :-)

Kaz

It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Submitted by mark on 24 March 2008 - 7:49am.
mark's picture

from the ivory tower

“Free your mind”
and
what you do from it
don’t
define as habit
in
same time
or
from another
go to the limit
for
all mankind
unbind mysteries
don’t sell yourself short
give me the “real deal”
not
sticky stinky characters

Thanks gumpy,
Mark

not sure about some of the missing punc or plurals or adjective, but that’s me with grammar lol (not so sure)

Submitted by DeprivedofReason on 4 July 2008 - 10:02pm.
DeprivedofReason's picture

Define N free your mind behind your deemed limits- no others ...

even those that descend from ivory towers.
You attain a natural maneuverability with verse. Fluid-filled rhyme. A visionary in your own right, quite a young masterful poet. Your brain dies in raw undefined passion before us in semblance of the young spirit that Da Vinci himself would muse by.

Continue to chase and dream

we shall follow and read with thought

<3
a ravished rose