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Submitted by whitetea on 27 February 2008 - 3:18am.
Style / Type:
freeform
I came to know
when
I locked my
hands around you
in protective circle
the thin bands of life
the tragedy of fragile.
then was knowing that even
if I had the will
of ages
still you could fall
still the Gods would laugh
at the walls of breath
at the shields of skin
and for Pagan tries
at meaning.
this is for the atheism vs religion contest, after thinking about it I will submit it under atheism.
(3 votes)
thank you
thank you for your submission. Good luck!
Mark W.
This poem makes me angry and
that is exactly what it should do whitetea :) being a knower :) not a believer but those are other stories. Congrats on your place in the contest !
Joy and Peace
Mark
Congratulations!
Congratulations on the contest! Excellent poem!
Cat
Congrats!
I agree with what your comment below the poem implies: This is somewhat ambiguously atheistic, since the title and five concluding lines could well be taken to concede that deities do exist, even if only distant and mocking. Except for not understanding why line 9 says “will” instead of “faith,” I like the first eleven lines very much indeed, and I congratulate you heartily on the well-deserved award!
sorry for such a late reply!
this was written in a cynical light.
i was very sick when i wrote this, about this time last year. someone told me they would do anything to help me be well again. i realized that there was little they could do, little i could do it if happened to them even if it meant sacrificing everything.
i felt that the level of desperateness could be laughed at, by a being who had the power to change it.
i grew up in a household that is very coldly religious and fundamentalist minded. i have a lot of things i can’t understand or don’t agree with with certain religions partly because of my upbringing. i promised myself i would live what most religions intend for a person.
in a sense i am making a small person belief to live by. but when i wrote this, i felt my ‘will’ would be laughable by any god who i live separate of.
this was written in the view that if there was a doubtful divine force in existence, i felt it being very purposely separate and on ‘its’ own agenda.
hey i spell congrats wrong
Beautiful poem
love the “tradgedy of fragile”
and “Pagan tries”
nicely done!!!
O
i appreciate
i appreciate your having reading this, thank you!
Me too O
I think it is - Congratulation whitetea ! Or would there be an “s” at the end? Geeze I hope Jess does not see this :( but then my timeing might make up for any spelling mis-spells :) hopefully
Mark