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Kieran Nelson

Kieran Nelson's picture
Advocate Volunteer
Glasgow,
United Kingdom

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Style / Type: 
freeform

Tomorrow shall bring
What tomorrow will bring
And I shall look upon it
With the same youth and wonder
As I have done everyday.

It it bodes well, then my face
Will be full of smile and colour
And if it does not? Then
I shall endevour to digest it
Through poem and prose
I will indeed survive it.

We as a race, as a people together
often look to tomorrow
because of today.
We gamble with ourselves
“the next day will be better”,
That the small victories of now
will pale in those to come.

But, what if you had,
no tomorrow?
No, “next time”, no second chance?
Pray, I feel, you would sit
In most terrible sorrow
Consumed with regret of what
You have not and have done.
Staring at the darkness of
Nomorrow.

But please don’t fret,
for it’s not all over;
There is still much time left
For you to make mark and amends,
But with that sentiment,
you must remember;
your time in this place
has but fickle limit.

So stop putting things off,
or planning too much.
Stop making excuses
And be the best that you can.
For you wont be remembered
In the tomorrow
If you don’t soon start living
For the today.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
0
Submitted by ladytheresa on 31 December 1969 - 7:00pm.
ladytheresa's picture

Nomorrow

Hi Kieran, I love your message and this piece really hits home for me. I noticed a few grammatical errors- nothing major. I would suggest however that you rework your rythm to free it up a bit and give it an easier cadence and flow. It reads a bit choppy as is. I hope this helps. LadyTheresa
Submitted by Kieran Nelson on 19 February 2008 - 5:27pm.
Kieran Nelson's picture

Thanks Lady, I made some

Thanks Lady, I made some adjustements, hope they made it flow a bit better.

Sometimes it takes a 2nd or indeed a 6th look at your own work to make it better.

Thanks much.

Kieran

“Mind, how you go!”
- Roger McGough’s poem for LSD Awareness Week