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Submitted by Kieran Nelson on 6 February 2008 - 6:52pm.| Updated 6 February 2008 - 6:52pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
My World and your world,
our world together is rotten.
Have you looked out the window,
or turned on the news?
From the human rights breaches
in eastern Darfur
Or the gangs in your city
selling drugs on your street.
And who can we look at
to fix these problems?
The police are underfunded,
and so too are the schools.
Our leaders corrupted
for a little petty cash
And they’ll happily wallow
and fester in their pits
So who is left here
to make a stand?
Well tilt your head back,
and look to the sky.
For the ones who are left
are floating above us.
Enormous groups of
enormous balloons.
Tied together and filled
with too much hot air
And on they go,
higher and higher still
Till we,
beneath them
are but miniscule and
small.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
This poem was inspired by reading the nonsensical and out of touch poetry presented within "Poetry" magazine, the december issue if you want to be picky.
(1 vote)
now
THIS gives me a rush—both the comment at the end (the writers of “Poetry” magazine are morbid aesthete disciples of the NeoFormalist zombies who swear allegaince to Dana Gioia)and the poem itself. as we speak young women are being brutally raped, tortured, and atrocities i don’t even want to write here are being committed in Darfur without a BIT OF AID from our reprehensible President or his minions, busy having young men and women killed in a war they cooked up for their own financial benefit. you do a fantastic job here of making a political/poetic commentary on the seeming indifference of the authorites and people to human suffering. there is one who is never indifferent and there are social activists who will never stop: these are the only things that console me. a bold, great poem! inspiring.