The first and only democratic, member-ran poetry community — Register Free
Crypticbard
Australia
Full Profile
5 comments
Make a comment
Other article tools
Submitted by crypticbard on 2 February 2008 - 6:39am.| Updated 2 February 2008 - 6:39am.
Style / Type:
freeform
The Song of the Sunflower
`
was it the yellow of your bright petals
or the way you danced in the breeze
that I brought you home from fields
was it the strength of your upright stalks
or the camaraderie, your solidarity
there in the sun you sang hope
songs that filled a mourning heart
there in the wind you whispered
plaintive farewells on conflicted air
fill this grieving with consolation
outside my bedroom window lay
this lush bed of leaf and bloom
here in season this heart remind
morning greetings, eloquent sway
your grace betray rich folly of war.
`
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
(3 votes)
There in the sun you sang
There in the sun you sang hope. That is a wonderful line gives one pause for thought. I sat back and thought about that one line and of a field of sunflowers well done. The entire poem is excellent work
Chrys
.
.
posting error
double - triple post. Freds
Thanks Chrys
Thanks poewriter58. To me the goal and challenge of shorter poetry is to explore in as few words as possible the largeness of concepts and themes. And to have lines that stand out is a rarity we all can relish - both writers and readers alike. You are much appreciated. Freds
Very different.
After reading your poem, I will look upon the sunflower in a new light. I much enjoyed reading this poem.
Cat