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Submitted by calliope on 2 February 2008 - 12:07am.| Updated 8 May 2008 - 12:54pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Lay me down upon petals,
Softly caress my hair,
Tell me things that make me smile,
Take away every care,
Lay me down upon petals,
Softly kiss my lips,
Look into my eyes,
As your head slowly dips,
Lay me down upon petals,
Softly rub my thigh,
All the while whispering,
Those words that make me sigh,
Lay me down upon petals,
Softly hold my heart,
Handle it with love and care,
For you,myself I part.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
(5 votes)
Smooth
The poem itself is a caress. Sensual and smooth. Nice use of repetition within your lines. It adds to the intensity.
~ Ronda
wow
very beautiful…
almost like a song flows so smoothly.
the last line just sets off the whole poem..
awesome write.
BrownEyesBlue
For you, myself i part.
Great last line. What makes this so beautiful Lacy is the tone in which it is written, it really tugs at the heart strings as you feel the completeness of both your wanting and unquestioned giving laying there exposed on your perfumed bed of soft petals awaiting the intimate touch of your lover. Keith
Lay Me Down Upon Petals
So soft and soothng. Very nice job! I felt the petals
Beautifully written
and the last line is a killer.
I demand much more that petals, I demand we share the petals and the pain.
Well said
cheers,
Jess
Thanks everyone...
…for all your inspiring comments.This just came out of me,I guess this is just what I’m needing.
Lacy,
Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
written without sap.
As the rough spots are exposed (and they will be)keep writing with the same intensity.
In ink,
dabbler
Hey Dabbler
It’s good to here from you again.I always appreciate your comments.
Lacy,
Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
I read it then forgot
I forgot to mention how damned sexy this poem is.
of feathers n petals..of
of feathers n petals..of whispers an’ sighs…soothing n enchanting…completely absorbing. lovely poem.
thank you meanderS
I’m glad you enjoyed this one ,its one of my lighter ones,lol.A little something every girl needs every now and again,lol.
Thanks,
Lacy,
Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.