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Submitted by Candlewitch on 1 February 2008 - 4:17pm.| Updated 6 February 2008 - 5:03pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Devotion of self-sacrifice,
And the humble artist’s
fervent beauty,
Tumble upon the canvas.
Like the Shaman’s Spirit Wheel
Of eternal fire and ice,
Speaks of the forming of the world,
The creator’s ardent hands
Shape wet clay
On the potter’s wheel,
This natural simplicity
Shapes this poet’s pen.
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
I'm not satisfied with the title (Bard) and am looking for alternative title suggestions.
I'm also new here and unsure of what I am doing so please be patient with me while I learn the ropes.
*Update... The new title for this poem is: "Spirit of the Muse"
(4 votes)
Bard
I really enjoyed this, The creator’s artists hands, and shapes the poet’s pen were my favorites!
Bard
Hello,
It is very nice to meet you. Thank you very much for your input!
Candlewitch
welcome
I wouldn’t change anything on this one cat
Chrys
Poem
Hey Chrys,
Thanks for the welcome and I’m glad you like the poem. I’m going to change the title (If I can figure out how to do it) to one of the professor’s suggestions.
Cat
Creation of the muse
Hi Cat, long time no see…hope you are well. This is an inspiring short poem with great images..although to be honest i was wanting more, it seemed to end too quickly. As for the title may be i agree Bard is a bit too classical and not capturing the inspirational part. I suggested Creation of the muse or perhaps Spirit of the muse. Just suggestions, I am sure in time you will come up with something even better. Good to see you back. Keith
Spirit of the muse
Hello Keith!
I like both of your title suggestions very much. Now, I just have to figure out which one I like best and how to change the title on the poem. Thank you for the nice welcome!
Cat
Use Edit then change the title
when you submit it will repost in the que as updated .you will also have a revision available for those who want to review the former posted version.Keep posting i like your themes.
In ink,
dabbler
Hello
Hello dabbler, and thank you very much for your help. I’m glad you liked the subject matter of my poem. My themes and interests are widely diversified, but I hope I have other poems that you will like.
Candlewitch
Spirit of the muse
Hi Cat
This is absolutly awesome do not change a thing we must be spirit twins we are on the same astral plain it must be that invisible chord that joins our souls
I do not who or what my muse is but it is constant
As always you inspire me to create a work of art - I will do pencil first and then a pastel you create such visual images to me
hugs
maggie R
Maggie dear,
To inspire another with my art (writing) is one of the highest goals that I aspire to. I am so glad that you told me. I consider you to be my sister in spirit.
Hugs, Cat