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Crypticbard
Australia
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Submitted by crypticbard on 1 February 2008 - 3:00am.
Style / Type:
freeform
`
No one can tell (the difference is)
clear to querying mind(s):
How is it I could not savour
the pungent heavy clouds
before the pulling of the breeze?
Further afar off, one imagines
future life daily waiting - awash
tranquil staccato whispers -
permeate my porous soul
after the pelting of the rain.
`
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
(2 votes)
comment
Rhythm, pattern, and pacing I thought were right on.
I also enjoyed the subject matter great write!