Like moving to the East Village, but easier on the wallet. — Register Free
Submitted by frangipangi on 28 January 2008 - 7:42pm.| Updated 28 January 2008 - 7:43pm.
Style / Type:
Japanese
Lovely spread lady
Touch her innocent beauty
Kiss her crystal dew
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
(3 votes)
nice
Very nice imagery..
you have done well poet..cricket
smile
Why thank you Cricket. I am humbled with a smile.
Yours,
Frangipangi
Erotic haiku...I like it.
Senryu
Hi Box,
Thank you. My attempt at Senryu.
Yours,
Fran
Senryu
Hi Box,
Thank you. My attempt at Senryu. After the storm rages, some erotica emerges. Just sometimes.
Yours,
Fran
Senuryu traditionaly has no title right?
no title
yeah, box you are correct. Traditionally no title. But I think you must put something in the title box to post, so I put Haiku. I have a wonderful site that explains Senryu. Here is the site if you want to check it out: http://www.geraldengland.org.uk/ge/gepm002.htm
good to chat with you Box.
Yours,
Fran
Nicely visual as good senryu
Nicely visual as good senryu should be.
I enjoyed the erotic theme.
I often used linked pieces [though I deliberately don’t call them haiku or senryu]
e.g. ONLY HUMAN http://www.neopoet.com/node/5363
Mike
Erotic themes are one of the hardest things to do
without being tawdry. You achieve magnificently.
cheers,
Jess