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Submitted by poewriter58 on 27 January 2008 - 1:04pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Hearing your voice whisper that I belong
Tasting my name upon your tongue
Smelling the scent of just washed skin
Feeling the memory of where we had been
Softly , slowly hands once again glide
A searing ache is welling inside
A crescendo of pleasure burst from your lips
With each rhythmic movement of my hips
There for a moment we have become one
Another memory born. a dream to build upon
Of once again tasting my name on your tongue
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
I don't think any more need be said
(1 vote)
Nicely done!
This was a strong peice. Inticing and sensual. Your right nothing else need be said.
Lacy,
Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
Proof that sensuality
can be written without vulgarity or blatant erotica. Nicely done, Chrys. Perfect title, too.
~ Ronda
I try
When I write a piece such as this one I try very hard not to give great graphic details as I credit the reader with having the intelligence and imagination to take what they like from it I appreciate that you recognized this effort thank you
Chrys
Outstanding Poem
Poewriter58, I have to admit I was initially drawn in by the title which by the way is perfect for this poem by you. The vivid images you have caused to display themselves within my minds eye are very sensual romantic as there is no need to rush such a wonderful moment so it may last. I felt almost as though you have reached out to me and took my hand and gently guided me to all those erotic places that arouse your wanting and then left your name on the tip of my tongue speaking for more much more. Wonderful Job My Dear Friend. Beautiful Work.
Mickey Pig Knuckles
Tasting My Name
Enjoyed this read, nicely written! Thanks for sharing
once again
My thanks to you
Chrys