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Submitted by frangipangi on 25 January 2008 - 8:34pm.| Updated 25 January 2008 - 8:34pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
This day in winter the wind sang
and sang
and sang
my children to nap
my cat to recline
the post man to hurry
hiding from the chilly song
snow to dance
hot milk to heat
and warm covers to wrap
this day in winter
the wind sang
and we all danced
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
a cozy memory on a cold, snowy day.
(1 vote)
Like a warm cup of cocoa
A snippet of a cozy memory. Thank you for sharing it.
~ Ronda
cup of cocoa
thank you Ronda. a cozy memory on a cold snowy day, with a cup of cocoa (laced with a snort of brandy!. complete with afghans and afternoon naps!
Yours,
Frangipangi
quirk
for some reason it posted my comment twice … must have been a hiccup!
~ Ronda
and we all danced
that line made this from a revery to a great poem
cheers,
Jess