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Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes's picture
Advocate Volunteer
South Carolina,
United States

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Style / Type: 
freeform

Innocence is my game

Despise is my name

Tried to be a friend

Corruption spoiled my mend

I did not see the knife

Reeling at my spine

Common ground

Can’t be found

Blames on me I stand alone

High above mountain tops

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
4
Average: 4 (2 votes)
Submitted by purplemoondoll on 25 January 2008 - 5:34am.
purplemoondoll's picture

Corruption on my mend or

Corruption on my mend or mind?

I enjoyed this Barbara - nice rhythm and flow.

Kaz

It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Submitted by Barbara Writes on 25 January 2008 - 10:41am.
Barbara Writes's picture

Glad you enjoyed it

Thank for the suggestion. Corruption spoil my mend is what happens when I try to make friends and screw things up not realizing I am being bad.
I feel guilty for being me unable to see or understanding as others do.
I withdraw to my poetry a friend that understands and never judges. Listens opening up the way to freedom.

Submitted by purplemoondoll on 25 January 2008 - 10:47am.
purplemoondoll's picture

Corruption spoils my mend

Is a great way to express that. Its interesting how many poets are so critical of themselves. Its an honest thing to do. I like your work . :0)

Kaz

It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Submitted by Janice Pearce on 25 January 2008 - 8:55pm.
Janice Pearce's picture

comment

It is hard to bare the soul, but easy to write about it and have it turn out beautiful! Nicely done