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Barbara Writes
United States
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Submitted by Barbara Writes on 25 January 2008 - 1:32am.
Style / Type:
freeform
Innocence is my game
Despise is my name
Tried to be a friend
Corruption spoiled my mend
I did not see the knife
Reeling at my spine
Common ground
Can’t be found
Blames on me I stand alone
High above mountain tops
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
(2 votes)
Corruption on my mend or
Corruption on my mend or mind?
I enjoyed this Barbara - nice rhythm and flow.
Kaz
It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Glad you enjoyed it
Thank for the suggestion. Corruption spoil my mend is what happens when I try to make friends and screw things up not realizing I am being bad.
I feel guilty for being me unable to see or understanding as others do.
I withdraw to my poetry a friend that understands and never judges. Listens opening up the way to freedom.
Corruption spoils my mend
Is a great way to express that. Its interesting how many poets are so critical of themselves. Its an honest thing to do. I like your work . :0)
Kaz
It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
comment
It is hard to bare the soul, but easy to write about it and have it turn out beautiful! Nicely done