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Crypticbard
Australia
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Submitted by crypticbard on 23 January 2008 - 5:15am.| Updated 23 January 2008 - 5:17am.
Style / Type:
freeform
A field of crop
once a battlefield-red
now feeds a remnant -
They that survived
young given up lives
so this plot of land
Might remain sovereign,
fly its flag
and export its blood-bought grain.
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
(2 votes)
I really like the way you
I really like the way you have captured the spirit and the story - albeit a snatch of the story - in so few lines. Its a theme I can relate to. Love the form and the way you have written this. I really look forward to seeing more of your work.
Kaz
It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Thanks
Thanking you kindly, Kaz.
~Frederick
>
Especially here in the U.S. where we got a lot of the land by wiping out the Native Americans, this is something that makes me very sad. You begin to wonder what the prosperity is actually worth after a point.