Neopoet.com

Don’t want to take away from the deep feelings expressed but it does need work as poetry. Or maybe just let it be. You said what you wanted to say and said it well.

Thank you gentlemen,
last September my wife and I were expecting our third child when the baby passed away. This was about that. Karen’s (my wife’s) body did not recognize that the baby had died, so it wasn’t until we went for an ultrasound, expecting to see a healthy baby, that we found out. Because her body didn’t respond to the baby’s death we had to go to get her surgically removed.When we got to the hospital we were told to take elevator “A” to the third floor for the surgery. Imagine my wife and my horror when the doors opened and we were at the cheerful entrance to the birthing center, where our other two children were born. We were supposed to be sent up a back elevator, but someone had made an honest mistake. Karen had to walk the entire length of that place, since the room we needed to be in was in the back of the wing. I can’t fathom how she had the strength to do that. We walked past babies crying, new families being made. It was agony. I honestly don’t know why I’m telling you this, except that I suppose I need to get it out. Even now, it hurts. I could have gone back and changed the poem, but why? I wrote this merely to record the moment in my head, but not to create art. Joe, the “get over it” line refers to how I felt upon trying to “get back to normal.” As men we are in awkward situations when it comes to how we act after a situation like this. Most people are empathetic, but let’s face it, if you didn’t carry the child (ie., pregnancy) then you’re expected to get back (emotionally) alot quicker than you’re able to. Add that to the fact that unborn children aren’t even treated like humans by many people anymore and that’s where that came from. Sometimes I feel we make a statement with our work not as an expression of art, but as a window to our own souls. Saying that, I appreciate and agree with both of your assessments, and heartily appreciate your constructive advice, but thought I would give you the backstory to the poem.
“F.E.E.L” = “Family Experiencing Early Loss”

You displayed your pain well in this piece. Quite different than the piece i wrote to honor my own son who died at 26 days, but truly the message is the same. The hospital where my son died tried sending me to a grief group where not a single woman had progressed more than 3 months into her pregnancy, i was stunned at how these women grieved so incredibly hard. I know i’m not insensitive where it comes to this kind of loss, however by the time it came for me to speak the hour was up and i left in more pain than when i arrived. There are no words for comfort, there’s only ones self to figure out through the years how to peel away the layers of agony. Thanks for sharing your heart and bearing your soul. Warmly, Chrissy